While we were at the Mid-Valley Mall in KL, we saw a martial arts demonstration, somehow incongruously intertwined with an electronics exhibition. That is, one of those open spaces in a shopping mall was done over to highlight a company’s line of products in mobile phones, video-recorders and small appliances and, amid all this glass, microcircuitry and glass (and did I mention the glass?), a tae kwon do group did a demonstration. Okay, so here’s my take on this for any future martial arts instructors thinking of grabbing a few bucks/a bit of publicity by doing the same thing.

1. Although nothing happened in this instance, take it from me (and every other mother in the world) that (a) well-behaved children jumping around and (b) cases of expensive electronic gear, do not mix.
2. If you’re the instructor, work out yourself. There’s nothing that dents the credibility of a dojo more than having an overweight instructor who puffs and wheezes after completing two boring-ass defensive movements against (yawn) an attacker with a pretend knife. (Extra bonus hint: no right-minded, half-competent knife attacker EVAH attacks overhand. That’s only for movies … and, er, martial arts demonstrations.)
3. When you get your students to break planks of wood, it’s good that you make the scoring on the back of the plank as invisible as possible. But try to also make the little markers — telling the assistants which way to rotate the plank — a little less obvious as well, m’kay?
4. Try to be innovative by coming up with something a little different. Like setting up a more realistic street setting for a demonstration, or another way to perform a form/kata. It means you have to think a little, but it will pay off.

I’m not a fan of the Korean or Japanese martial arts (not until the advanced stages, when all arts blur together), so I’ll keep the rest of my comments to myself … and to a relaxing husband over a scotch, as we talk over our various martial arts experiences and watch the koi in our pond snuffle around the lotuses and not get any. Mwahahahaha.

POSTSCRIPT: I meant to blog on Friday but … well, here was the sitch. In our storeroom — at the very back, do a u-turn and, yep, right there under the stairs just where the bottom of the stairs meets the floor — was a metal pail, half-full of acrylic slate sealer. The bottom seal of the pail decided to expire and the sealer leaked out, muchas litres of it, soaking into a dozen large cardboard packing boxes (full of stuff, natch!), tool-bearing plastic crates, brooms, mops, assorted tins, etc. on its way to freedom . The first we found out about it was when a strong smell, and some thick gooey stuff, started leaking out from beneath the door.

Oh. My. God. Needless to say, the rest of Friday and a fair hunk of Saturday was a bust. Just when you think you can take a breather … Oh well, at least we now have the best sealed storeroom floor in the neighbourhood.