Archive for December, 2008

  • Downs and ups

    0

    So you know that I’ve been having problems with my main machine. (How do people work with only one PC? The mind boggles.) And I’ve been searching for a sexy case to house my new hardware. Can I tell you something? There are no sexy cases in Malaysia or Singapore. In fact, when you mention it — “I’m after a case that’s both functional and sexy” — all you get is a pained smile or embarrassed giggle, from Sim Lim Square to Penang.

    I eventually stumbled across Moderno PC but, being the end of the year, they’re out of almost everything and the usual Malaysian attitude kicks in for the rest.

    “No, we don’t have that case in silver. But we have the black. Why not take the black, lah?”
    “But you don’t have the function panel I want in black, do you?”
    “Ah, no lah. All sold out.”
    “Do you know when they’ll be coming back into stock?”
    Tcha. Difficult to say, lah. End of year and all suppliers are clearing their stocks. Maybe we get it next year. We don’t know yet.”

    So I shopped bricks-and-mortar local and now have a case I’m really not crazy about, housing some admittedly kick-ass equipment. But it’s not what I wanted and, more importantly, it’s not what I was prepared to pay for.

    While I was muttering darkly about online computer stores (and, no matter what else I said, Moderno was very very quick with refunding my money, so thanks for that, guys … I will do business again, but perhaps at the beginning of the supplier year next time, hmmm?), the bus guys rumbled by. The kids are back at school next week, so the school bus crew for the area came to introduce themselves.

    As with most things in Malaysia, this isn’t a succinct, ten-second acknowledgement. The area for this procedure is either in your carport or by the road. I get introduced to the main players (in this case, the driver and the company owner). We have to discuss the direction they’ve come from, the initial difficulties they had in finding the house, and a quick opinion on the surroundings. I offer tips on the best way to get to the house, and they nod and make noises of agreement, interspersed with the occasional question so we both know they’re paying attention. Smiling, we then segue into when the kids will be picked up, and some comments on the process when dropping them off at school. There’s a rundown on the procedure when returning (our kids will be the first dropped off), and their rough route home. And then the exchange of name cards (known as business cards everywhere else, but they contain your name and are used for personal situations as well so, hey, name cards, right?).

    In the last few minutes of the conversation, I happened to comment on the delicious smell of durian wafting from the mini-bus (painted a bright orange with “BAS SEKOLAH” in black emblazoned on the sides). Well, that was enough for Mr. Loh. “Come, come,” he told me, beckoning me to the bus door. He must use the bus as his personal transport as well, because it was full of fresh fruit, a neat pyramid of pineapples sitting on one of the front seats. Reaching into the back, he pulled out a green, thorny durian. “Here,” he says. “Very fresh. I cut it myself from the tree this morning.” It weighed close to two kilograms.

    No matter how much I tried to protest that I’m the only one in the family who eats durian, so one fruit would be way too much for me, he insisted on foisting it onto me. “You must have. Very nice taste. I only pick quality fruit.”

    And, content that their job here was done, they waved merrily at me and drove away.

    Malaysia is like that. You feel like throttling a friendly, uncaring throat over their apparent apathy, and then you get given something wonderful out of the goodness of someone’s heart, on no more than a throwaway comment. Later on that afternoon, while the kids and I were waiting for the final toting of the bill at the computer store, the owner’s mother came by with cold drinks for all three of us because she was worried my two warring offspring were getting thirsty.

    The fact of the matter is, I’m wound up way too tight for a place like Malaysia. I’ve always been a rather tense person, ready to cut someone dead on a single misstep. If you met me, I doubt you’d like me very much. So maybe a laid-back, generous, tomorrow-tomorrow environment is exactly what I need. A social choke-chain if you will. I wonder if it’ll work.

    In the meantime, a Happy New Year to you all, and thanks for reading.

  • Christmas food

    0

    So, how did you celebrate Christmas? For Eurasians, our big meal is Christmas Eve dinner, which is then followed by attendance at Midnight Mass (as most Portuguese Eurasians are Roman Catholic). This also seems to be the case in Poland, so all we — as a family — really needed to do was to mash together the menus and drop the Mass to achieve fusion.

    Traditional foods for me are: roast chicken, Vindaloo Curry, Captain Curry and a salad.

    Traditional foods for J are: carp, vodka [EDITED to add:], pierogi and poppy seed cake.

    We nixed the carp and the Captain Curry, mostly because I didn’t like the idea of eating wet tissue paper (the carp) and we didn’t need two curries for a mostly-family dinner (Captain Curry).

    You’re probably wondering about the names, aren’t you? Well, the original name for Captain Curry was Kapitan Curry. The Kapitan was the Chinese head man in Malacca who was the spokesman for the Chinese community when liaising with the Sultan and his staff. His name was given to the curry because the dish, made with chicken, is a combination of the best of Malay and Chinese influences. The Eurasians did their own take on the mix and some called it Captain Curry, which is probably as confusing a name as you can get.

    Vindaloo Curry is pronounced vin-DAH-loo, not VIN-daloo like you hear it in the UK. I’ve gone back to making it with the original meat, which is pork. Modern Eurasians usually make it with chicken. It is based on a Portuguese dish Vinha d’ Alhos, which means “with vinegar and garlic” … I think. Wikipedia has it all wrong with this dish, concentrating only on the Indian version (which results in a thick, dark brown curry) and missing the Eurasian story (which is slightly thinner and a bright reddish-yellow if you’re doing it right) altogether. The spices we use are very simple — only dried chillies (lots and lots of dried chillies!) and mustard seeds. The other flavouring comes from garlic, onions, ginger, salt, sugar and, most importantly, vinegar. And we add potatoes. That’s about it. This is a simple curry that’s very easy to get very wrong and, if it goes wrong, it does so right at the end, so there’s the potential to screw up the entire dish … and it’s not easy to redeem.

    Although I didn’t plan it that way, it now appears that a yellow vegetable curry is also a dinner table staple. I usually make it without the chillis but with the curry leaves and mustard seeds. It’s quick, versatile and gets the kids used to curry without the heat. As their heat tolerance rises, so will the level of chilli inclusion.

    I’ve now left the chicken in J’s capable hands and he does some rotisserie magic with it. People have asked for the recipe, but I’ve directed them to J. I just eat the thing! An Eurasian-style roast chicken is one that’s been slathered in mustard, pepper and dark soya sauce. It is dotted with butter and sprinkled with paprika (like you can notice that against the dark soya sauce but, hey, that’s how it’s done) before being roasted in the oven. The soya sauce seems to act as a shield, keeping the chicken flesh moist and tender underneath the deliciously crisp skin. If you’re in the mood for an experiment, try it.

    The Eurasian salad I used to get served as a child was AWFUL and it put me off salads for years! Limp lettuce leaves are propped around the edge of a salad bowl, holding sliced hard-boiled eggs, sliced red onions and a thin, yellow “dressing” made with powdered mustard and sugar that soaked everything like a tasteless, cold, semi-sweet soup. Ugh! The minute I moved out of home, that sucker was gone, and replaced with a green salad lightly dressed with home-made vinaigrette. Sometimes, tradition is a bad thing!

    Desserts can range from souffles to trifles to tortes, all home-made, depending on how we feel that year. So, would anyone else like to share? What dishes define the holiday season for you?

  • Writing news (for a change) & sundries

    4

    Firstly, I’d like to thank you all for sticking with me. I mean, this is an author’s blog yet I’ve had almost nothing to report for the entire year. What kind of an author am I? Well, I’m happy to say that that’s about to change for 2009. I have a release out with Total-E-Bound in May 2009. Interestingly enough, it’s about pirates, but not the ebook type, ha ha. It’s more … Pirates … In … Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaacceeeeeeee.

    The contract ink is still wet, so more details anon. I’m hoping to get three titles published by TEB next year. I’m almost finished with a second try so, if they like it, I think I’ll be well on the way to achieving that goal.

    I’m also revamping my website. It’s starting to look a little wild and woolly on the sides, so I’m bringing it back to basics. If you’re visiting over the Christmas/New Year period and things look a little wonky, it’ll be because I’m struggling with php. Or eggnog. Or both. I’d be much obliged if you could cut me a bit of slack and visit again in a couple of days. I’m still in love with this blog design and the crispness of Radio Free Bliss, so those two will be staying as is.

    For those of you still following along, have a great holiday, no matter where in the world you may be. Even if Christmas is not a designated public holiday in your arc of Earth, try to put aside some time to enjoy yourselves in the company of family and friends you love. The world is a depressing enough place, so take the opportunity for some “time out” and I’ll catch you soon. Blog posts may be erratic.

    LONG-ASS POSTSCRIPT: My major machine’s mobo is acting up. You know that beep you get when you first switch your PC on? Well, I’m getting it all the time while trying to do sundry things. That’s not a good sign. Blog posts may be very erratic while I build myself a new machine over the Christmas break.

    How many failures has it been this year? 4? 5? I think this goes beyond bad luck into the God of Teh Technologies having active fun at my expense (figuratively and literally). While I have an Acer Aspire One netbook that I’m quite fond of (mind you, it’s only a few months old and I did have some initial hal (hardware abstraction layer) issues, if you recall), I wouldn’t recommend a small-form Acer desktop system. Having cracked the seal to have a look inside (yes, I know it invalidated the warranty), it’s an oven waiting to melt delicate circuits in there. I don’t suppose burgeoning graphics work and media streaming has been helping the poor little suffocating processor. J keeps trying to talk me into a water-cooling system. It may be overkill, but I’m starting to seriously consider it. Plus, it looks way cool! See you when I have my new machine up and running!

    POSTSCRIPT^2: And, would you believe, something inside J’s wireless mouse just sounded like it exploded. Right now, while we were chatting. The mouse is still alive. Investigations are ongoing, as are suggestions for an appeasement sacrifice to the deity (any deity!) in charge of electrons.

  • Arrrrr me hearties, there be pirates

    10

    I’ve always been of the opinion that I hadn’t “arrived” as an author until my books got pirated. And I’m, er, “happy” to say that that date arrived on 11 June this year.

    Let me share something with you. Epub authors are some of the most approachable people you’ll ever interface with. You can email any epub author in existence and — assuming you’re not being downright vile — be almost guaranteed of some kind of reply. But if there’s one thing that really gets everyone’s knickers in a twist, that turns normally mild-mannered women into ravening she-wolves of doom, it’s book piracy, and there are lots of authors who, when they find such a site, are quick to notify other authors of the violations and craft Take Down Notices to the service in question. (In between scarfing down bloody chunks of meat in order to keep the fires of righteousness burning.)

    How I personally feel about pirating is conflicted. Unlike a number of my sister authors, I think it’s unavoidable. It’s like a department store factoring in losses through shoplifting. However, where a department store has thousands of items in its inventory, I only have (at the moment) five. And if people are pirating my books (three on the last site I saw), then that’s 60% of my inventory pilfered. Which is, as they say, significant. At this particular Site I Shall Not Name, the folder of my name (containing a zip file of 3 releases) had been accessed 352 times. Which means, assuming an average royalty of $1.40 per book (give or take), US$1478.40 of royalties that I’ve been stiffed out of (352 times x 3 books x $1.40 royalty per book), although I recognise that people who downloaded the books may not have otherwise bought them. Still, even if only 10% of downloaders would have legitimately bought my books (assuming no pirate copy was available), that’s still $147.84 that I could have used to help defray living expenses and purchase treats for myself and my family.

    But, believe it or not, that’s not what bothers me the most. If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, you’ll notice that — amid all my blatherings — is one deep deep hate. Hypocrisy. The woman who hosts the Site I Shall Not Name is Andrea Connors of Rhode Island. She’s a 47 year-old stay-at-home-mum who states that the thing she’s always wanted to do is “be able to be financially set so I can do what I want to do”. I wonder if she even recognises the irony of what she wrote. Sweetheart, what do you think the authors you’re ripping off want to do as well? Don’t you think we’d like to be financially set so we can do what we want to do, which is write full-time? Were you being facetious? Or are you really that stupid?

    And I love the comments from people who see nothing wrong in downloading pirated goods. “Keep up the good work. You are making lots of people happy. =),” squeals Cat Morrison of the Philippines. “Peace.Love.Good Vibes.” manqeygurlz from Indonesia tells Andrea “Thank you so much. You are very great ^_^ “. As most of these pirates are smart enough to have invitation-only sites, you’ll also see requests for invites from a number of people (*). And the comments are so polite … “thank you so much”, “hugs and thanks in advance”. Secondary irony points go to klmo1964 from Canada who writes, “I also want to say thank you for the lists you have created for them.  I know a lot of work went into all of this and it [sic] very very much appreciated.”. Can I tell you something, klmo1964? Much more work went into writing the book than making it available for free. Just fyi.

    I’d also like to add the following: in my forays into the germ-infested world of hugs-kisses-and-thanks pirates, I saw books I wanted. Jeez, LOTS of books I wanted. And, boy, was I tempted, so I can understand how that works. But my only download was my own zip file, so I could check what had been stolen. I know people buy books and lend them to their friends. I’ve done that more times than I can count. But, with ebooks, it spreads exponentially, and one book made available in one place can easily multiply into hundreds of clones worldwide. All netting zero royalties for the author.

    To those who’d argue that this is a ripe area for DRM (Digital Rights Management), I’d strongly disagree. I saw books that were originally sold in a “secure” format (I know ‘cos I’d bought them myself), freely available for download. Whatever one person can secure, another person can unsecure. No, this is more a psychological issue and there are no easy answers. These pirates obviously spend a lot of time breaking encryption and organising books. They present a service and, in return, get effusive thanks and validation from people all around the world. It’s heady and addictive, and I can understand it (especially for people like stay-at-home-mums who feel socially isolated), even if I can’t condone it.

    On the other side of the coin, as I pointed out before, the temptation to get books for free from authors you love is enormous. And, at the privacy of your own computer, the call is seductive. All that stands between you and wrong is your own moral code. It is said that courage is the ability to be brave even in the face of your own abject fear. As a corollary, I would say that morality is the ability to do right even when there’s nobody around to watch. It’s the ultimate test, and one all the people mentioned in this blog have failed.

    So, in summary, there are lots of people out there who see no harm in stealing the work of someone else. And they’re damn polite about it. I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry.

    (*) Like (and authors might want to also check these names against contest entrants, as we’re well into contest season right now): mpikipoki@gmail.com, bluenin6@hotmail.com, ss55555sa@yahoo.com, aicha07@gmail.com, froztycular_gurl@yahoo.com, lividweed@hotmail.com, agesus02@hotmail.com, krishma.devi@gmail.com, inimellow@gmail.com, si_goraya@yahoo.com, niea_lain09@yahoo.co.id, klmo1964@live.com, Javan55@hotmail.com, cherylsmith7@blueyonder.co.uk (a special call out goes to Cheryl, who “lost the hard drive on my computer and have lost everything”, poor mite, and so was angling to download all those books all over again), roy_archana02@yahoo.co.in, irsal9@gmail.com, juleet@gmail.com, msraj2@rediffmail.com, reveur09@gmail.com, connors21@cox.net, connors_2@msn.com, ninoa@verat.net, 1kayxx@googlemail.com, ann_dz@yahoo.com, scottomc@terra.es, koanita@t-online.hu, lydliem@gmail.com, and wartel5869@hotmail.com

    EDITED to add: maggiemayelizabeth@hotmail.com, reinadebastos@gmail.com (a PC Cast fan), anggun.shastri@gmail.com, javan55@gmail.com, merrynmg@gmail.com, ninoa@verat.net, catmorrison11@yahoo.com, ann_dz@yahoo.com, liiliiy@yahoo.com.br, pubao05@yahoo.com, reveur09@gmail.com, anie.rehmani@gmail.com, edu1care@yahoo.com (an Elizabeth Boyle fan), Charliee Monk of the UK who goes by the moniker of midnightrose-xo, sprechendeustch7, laptopben from the UK, michaelonlign, and — my personal favourite — shekhantigres (who is both eclectic and prolific as a sharer of stolen works and also goes by the names api_user_11797_shekhantigres, shekhantigres-sf, etc.).

    Well done, folks; take a bow.

  • Another raid on the biscotti jar

    4

    Following on from my previous piece on the thin skins of minorities and the deliciously sharp biscotti of propaganda, I now present to you the perspective from another minority … environmental activists. I haven’t had as much time to devote to reading in this area as I’d like, but there are enough rumblings around for me to feel somewhat uncomfortable with the current state of law enforcement regarding animals and the environment.

    Firstly, the USA and the Patriot Act. I’m not sure how many of you are aware of this, but the Act — ostensibly passed to fight terrorism in a post-9/11 world — is being used to also pursue animal and environmental activists. The rub lies in the term “domestic terrorism”, which the Act defines as when a person engages in activity:

    that involves acts dangerous to human life that violate the laws of the U.S. … and appear to be intended: to intimidate or coerce a civilian population [or] to influence the policy of government by intimidation or coercion.

    Note the dove-grey shaded “appear to be intended”, as well as the similarly-hued “influence the policy of government”. Note also that there is a lack of definition surrounding, not only these words, but also “intimidate” and “coerce”. But wait, there’s more. Harbouring, aiding, concealing or lending material support to groups designated by the Attorney-General and Secretary of State as being terrorist organisations is also enough to get you arraigned under the Act. As the ACLU points out:

    Such groups as the World Trade Organization protesters, the Vieques protestors and even People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), would, on the basis of minor acts of violence or vandalism [by only one or two hotheaded individuals, I may add], meet this overbroad definition. Non-citizens who provide assistance to such groups — such as paying membership dues — will run the risk of detention and deportation.

    Sign a petition. Buy a t-shirt. Get kicked out of the country. The potential for entrapment is also enormous with such fuzzy legislation. And, for environmental activists, that’s even before we bring up the 2006 Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act. Merely threatening “an animal enterprise” (you might tell a lazy and cruel slaughterhouse owner that you’ll be proceeding with criminal charges against the establishment, or you may try to stop a cock fight) is enough to get you jailed. Whistleblowers might legitimately be prosecuted by the companies they expose under this legislation.

    For some background on this whole area, read the Guardian report. And here’s a link to a strange little two-step about a retracted 9 November article from the UK’s Observer newspaper that was obviously trying to beat on the eco-terrorism drum itself. If you want to read what the article actually said, this blog seems to have a fair chunk of it quoted, as The Observer deleted its original report.

    I’ll admit, I was happy to just keep such trivia in the back of my mind. After all, I’m an avowed carnivore. I’m also still trying to think through the whole global warming argument … and it hasn’t got me completely convinced, to be honest. So don’t get the idea I’m a vegetarian tree-hugger here. This is the blog of a mere observer of the action.

    So there I was, happily skipping along, until I read some news from Tasmania, Australia. It appears that an avowed police “terror exercise”, carried out last week, involved the scenario of “a forest activist hijacking a plane and threatening to crash it into a pulp mill” (article here). There has always been a rather antagonistic dynamic between Australian logging activists and the Tasmanian business establishment, and I see this exercise as the latest salvo in a propaganda war between the two sides. Of course, the scenario was slammed as being offensive, unnecessary and irresponsible, especially as no activists have ever carried out any violent action in the history of Tasmanian anti-logging activities. And the police didn’t help their case with their own statements. (Where do they get these spokesmen?)

    Assistant Commissioner of Police, Steve Bonde, went on record to say that the training exercise “which [was] designed to test the capabilities and co-ordination of various police agencies — [was] designed around the most unlikely scenario envisaged by Tasmania Police so that the community would not be alarmed.”

    Huh? What was that? You were training your police to respond to a terror exercise that was deliberately unrealistic? Surely I must have misread something?

    “We deliberately draw up a scenario unconnected with events in history, unconnected with current events or what police expect in the future,” Mr Bonde said. “They are not based on police intelligence or threat assessments.”

    Ah, Tasmania is the gift that keeps on giving. So, Mr Bonde (James Bonde … sorry, couldn’t resist), why even have an exercise at all if it’s not modelling anything that police expect to happen? Or am I missing something here? On the chance I’m not, may I suggest that, next time, the Tasmanian Police Force act out a giant invasion by insectoid aliens in huge metal flying saucers? According to your criteria, it would give the same net result, but the special effects (lots of fireworks please) would be awesome. And I’m convinced the kiddies, and a fair few adults, would love it.

    Actually, while it’s very easy to make fun of the police force, there is deeper inculcation afoot, and that is the training of law enforcement officers across the globe to regard activists as terrorists. And the training of the general public (that’s you!) through media channels to equate activists with terrorists. And those, gentle reader, are never laughing matters.

  • Very thin

    2

    In case you were wondering how thin a minority’s skin is, here’s a timely illustration. Because I lived in Australia at one time, I try to keep up with Australian news. And three news items this week caught my eye. The first is regarding an incompetent doctor. Now, I generally regard doctors as nothing more than body mechanics, somewhat lower on the scale of empathy and competence than car mechanics, truth be told. (I have seven of the blighters in my family (doctors, not mechanics), and have been observing the profession — within and without the family circle — for years, hence my immense respect for the profession.) To find out that there are incompetent doctors around is akin to finding an occasional insect in my mug of tea. Not entirely unexpected. However, have a read of this:

    THE Australian Medical Association has called for a full investigation into the registration of an overseas-trained doctor over allegations relating to a series of operations at the Royal Hobart Hospital.

    Dr Nandalal Gunaratne, originally from Sri Lanka, was employed as a urology consultant at the hospital in September.

    What jumped out at you? Perhaps the “originally from Sri Lanka” bit? Hmmmmmm. Further down, we read:

    Dr Middleton [AMA Tasmanian president] said there could have been [my emphasis] a failure of Tasmania’s stringent registration standards; an oversight [ditto] by the Royal Hobart Hospital’s credentialing committee.

    The full article is here. Note (and please go read the article and correct me if I’m wrong) that nowhere is the place of Gunaratne’s medical education ever mentioned. The overseas trained doctor could have attended university (or witch doctor school, for that matter) in England, Canada, Ireland or Burkina Faso. We don’t know. Wouldn’t you think that would be somewhat relevant? I mean, if a bunch of doctors from Klendathu are invading Australian shores and botching basic operations, surely that has to be of more value to public policy and debate than where one such practitioner was born?

    And then my eye was caught by another item, drawn as a moth to a flame to an article that has the word “child” in it. (Seems there are an awful lot of people being done for child pornography nowadays, and my cynic-sense is a’ twitchin’, but that’s for another time.) In an article subtitled “AFP sting uncovers ‘worst ever’ child porn”, we learn that:

    Australian Federal Police officers say they uncovered 500,000 images and 15,000 videos of child abuse allegedly shared between members of a peer-to-peer online network.

    Please remember that. Half a million images. Fifteen thousand videos. Worst evah. Nineteen men were arrested, including:

    [a] retired Victorian Queen’s Counsel … a childcare worker … a 40-year-old Bell Park man, a 27-year-old Maldon man, a 56-year-old Altona man, a 66-year-old Northcote man, a 32-year-old Lovely Banks man and a 47-year-old Windsor man ….

    And then, bingo!

    Richard Ngon Fung Lee, 24, gazed around Central Local Court today as he was refused bail by Magistrate Allan Moore.

    Half a MILLION images! Fifteen THOUSAND videos. Only one person named.

    Now, the detractors will say to me: “Hold on. He was also charged with six (count ‘em!) counts of having sex with underage girls”. And my reply would be, “That’s true, but so what?” What do you think the other arrested men were doing with children “as young as one”? Playing hopscotch? Why name Lee (and notice, not just “Richard Lee”, but “Richard Ngon Fung Lee”, just so there’s not a shred of doubt :: wink wink nudge nudge ::) and not the others as well? (*)

    For the men who set up the network and administered it, they get anonymity. But the first man mentioned by name happens to be Chinese. Hmmmmmm.

    And, thirdly, up in Brisbane, we read about a woman critically injured in hospital. Here’s the article, with the headline “Shot woman new to Australia”, and here’s what popped out at me:

    Yesterday, black fingerprint dust covered the entrance and stairwell to the blue stucco apartment building … Detective Superintendent Tony Cross said the woman had moved to Australia from an Asian country less than 12 months ago … [Resident] Mr Dugan said he had since seen many men of different ages arriving and leaving the apartment … A bare light bulb and a tattered bamboo screen concealing the woman’s balcony were the only signs of life inside the first floor unit ….

    Piece by piece, the little items mean nothing, but put them together (especially if you’re skimming the article), and a certain mental image forms — black, Asian, new immigrant, many men, bare bulb, tattered bamboo screen. She’d been in Australia for a year, by the way. How do I know that? Because if she’d arrived later, the erstwhile Detective would have amended his statement to “less than 6 months / 4 weeks / 5 days ago”. But let’s not get in the way of the “new” appellation. God forbid someone should say, “Recent arrival shot at Kangaroo Point”.

    Secondly, a light bulb and screen on a balcony are “outside” an apartment not “inside” one, m’kay? And are they really “signs of life”? (A bare light bulb is a sign of life?) Or was the reporter actually trying to evoke a particular image with such a description? Tacky, sleazy, shades of sex shows … nah, she couldn’t be … could she?

    So, in summary, what has a reading of recent Australian media taught us? Who are these incompetent doctors running around Australia? Damned if I know, but one of them was definitely born in Sri Lanka. And who are these child porn swappers? Again, damned if I know, but one of them is definitely Chinese. And you know those Asian women who migrate to Australia? They’re whores.

    I do so love a biscotti of propaganda with my morning latte. Cheers.

    (*) UPDATE: The news item has been rewritten (and changed beyond recognition) since I first read it yesterday. (The Age has a nasty habit of doing this. If I don’t hit Print, interesting information usually mutates or perishes in the space of hours.) It now names another man:

    Retired QC Neil James Williams, 74, of Newham, faces two child pornography charges, one count of using a carriage service to access child pornography and one count of knowingly possessing child pornography.

    Williams was arrested by Australian Federal Police on October 22 and appeared in the Bendigo Magistrates Court shortly afterwards, where he was granted bail.

    and leaves out information about Lee that was included in the original report. It has, in fact, now turned into what I consider to be a proper news item (which it wasn’t yesterday). However, the update has its own questions. For a start, it changes the number of charges against Lee, down from three to two in the space of twenty-four hours:

    Lee appeared in Sydney’s Central Local Court yesterday, where he faced two child pornography charges and six child sex charges

    thus bringing into question the reporter’s ability to count and report facts. And it brings up the question of why, if Williams was arrested a month and a half before Lee and, in fact,

    most of those arrested were picked up in the past month

    why it was that only one man — a Chinese — was identified by name in the first news item? Things that make you go Hmmmmm.

  • Bigger than yoga … the SCOA

    0

    In a recent blog, I touched on the fact that a ruling on yoga had yet to come from the Fatwa Council in Malaysia. In fact, that happened a couple of weeks ago and yoga is now considered haram, or non-halal. I’ll quote from Zainah Anwar’s column from The Star here because it’s such a sensible piece of writing. If you’d like to read the whole thing, I suggest you go and have a read of it yourself. You won’t regret it.

    Now, first, we established in the last blog that a fatwa “is not necessarily ‘binding’ on the faithful”. Anwar has an interesting series of paragraphs that explains the background to this more fully:

    As the Islamic juristic scholar Khaled Abou El Fadl said, the discourse of Shari’ah enables human beings to speak in God’s name, and effectively empowers human agency with the voice of God. This is a formidable power that is easily abused, he wrote.

    The classical jurists in the early period of Islam never claimed certainty or infallibility. They ended every pronouncement with “And only God knows best” ….

    The maxim that every mujtahid [jurist who strives to find the correct answer] is correct … implies that there could be more than a single correct answer to the same question. That is why the doctrine of binding precedent did not develop in Islamic jurisprudence.

    So, it seems pretty clear. The Malaysian Fatwa Council brought down a directive that says that yoga is haram, but that is seen as the view of a certain band of Islamic scholars. It is only a guideline and will probably only be followed by the most conservative families who follow the Council’s rulings. It works that way kinda sorta in Christianity as well with, for example, conservative Catholics against contraception, but more relaxed Catholics … meh, not so much. So what’s the problem?

    Before I continue, the most conservative society as a whole in the Islamic world is seen as Saudi Arabia, due to its strain of ultra-conservative Islam called Wahhabism. In the newspapers here, I’m always reading about comparisons to Saudi Arabia when it comes to religious edicts. The argument next to this one is that yoga is not forbidden in Saudi Arabia, so why should it be in Malaysia, which is by far a much more tolerant society?

    And that’s a good point. But what has Anwar’s undies in a twist is something else again. It’s the SCOA, or Syariah Criminal Offences Act. And the SCOA makes breaking a fatwa a criminal offence. Anwar, in all her indignation, writes:

    As early as 1997, Sisters in Islam (SIS) submitted a memorandum to the then Prime Minister about the shocking provisions in the … SCOA, many of which have no precedence in Islamic legal history and practice, violate constitutional provisions on fundamental liberties and conflict or overlap with the Penal Code.

    Among the most outrageous are two provisions which state it is a criminal offence to defy, disobey or dispute a fatwa, or to give, propagate or disseminate any opinion contrary to any fatwa that is in force! This really tantamounts [sic] to thought policing that criminalises differences of opinion! Not even Saudi Arabia makes it a crime to violate or dispute a fatwa.

    And, in true Malaysian fashion, the SCOA has been languishing, told it would be reviewed, but it never has, ready to trip up any Muslim willing to stand up and say something about a particular ruling, for more than a decade. This is also where the whole homogeneous mass of militant Muslims, teeth bared and mouth frothing at the chance to Bring Down Western Civilisation (aka Huntington Madness(tm)) comes a cropper. This isn’t a Christian hierarchy we’re talking about here people. There isn’t one head of infallibility, one channeller of divine light, through which all revelations emerge. The whole idea of Islam is predicated on the fact that, as Anwar points out, any learned scholar (although only male, natch) can make an equally valid ruling. Can you imagine your local faith if every priest/pastor/reverend (only male, natch) was allowed to do this? You certainly wouldn’t call your resultant faith one seamless monolith, would you? But I digress.

    So, at the moment here in Malaysia, we have the fatwa. And we have the SCOA. I have no answers, but it will be interesting to see how this plays out in the near future. Judging by how Malaysia normally does things, people will quietly ignore it, except for some overzealous officers tanked up on too much nasi lemak, and then we’ll see a big case splashed in the papers, and the indignation will rise again. What interests me is what PAS, a previously ultra-Muslim party but building a surprising non-Muslim political base as well, has to say about the intersection of SCOA and fatwas as it starts to turn itself into a formidable national force. Whether you like it or not, I’ll keep you informed.

    And I’ll leave you with a tangent (again, from Anwar) that I hope to pick up on in the near future:

    While most might agree that smoking is bad for their health, most would not agree that smoking should be criminalised. Perhaps that is why the Selangor state authorities saw it in its wisdom not to enforce their gazetted fatwa that smoking is haram.

    If not, their syariah courts would be overwhelmed and their prisons overflowing with smokers and, more likely, the state government and economy might just grind to a halt because these recalcitrant smokers just do not have the willpower to stop. Or could the reason just be simple, that it is men who will be affected most, so let’s close one eye.

  • Happy Mikołaj!

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    Yes I know, I missed another blogging deadline. As we approach the non-standard working schedule of December, I’m afraid that’s only going to happen more often. But that’s not what I wanted to tell you.

    It’s rolled around again. Mikołaj! This festival is celebrated throughout parts of Europe, characterised by a visit from … you guessed it … Mikołaj. Although the easy way is to conflate this with Santa Claus, J tells me that it’s philosophically different, as there is no imperative for children to be good in order to get presents. If they’re a child, and they believe in Mikołaj, they get a present. QED. Nothing too expensive, but something they can have fun with.

    This year, The Wast got an electronics kit. I can’t believe how quickly he’s grown up. After covering batteries in Science this year (Primary-2), he knows enough to insert batteries correctly and the fundamentals of circuits. He’s now off concocting little alarms and whatnot. Little Dinosaur was much more difficult as she wanted a yo-yo. In the end, Mikołaj gave her two. Now, as I walk through the house, if I see the kids standing on chairs, that means they’re playing with their yo-yos. (LD magnanimously gave TW one of her yo-yos, so he could keep her company.) You see, the strings are too long for them but they adamantly refuse to let me shorten them. So, chairs it is.

    One thing that took me by surprise was finding out that J had never ever played with a yo-yo in his life. I used to have one as a kid and it’s amazing how much comes back. I even managed to do a couple of tricks and impress the kids, so the old girl still has some magic left in her yet! ::grin::

    The toy J and I did have in common as children were click-clacks. Did you have them? They consisted of two heavy solid plastic balls, strung together with a thick nylon cord. In the middle, they were attached to a small thick piece of plastic that looked like a stubby tongue depressor. The idea was to get the rhythm going so the balls would collide above and below your wrist and make a click-clack sound. However, because they were on cord, more often that not (especially when you were just learning how to handle the thing), the balls would whizz down and hit your wrist instead of each other. They weren’t so much a toy as a godammned hand-to-hand weapon.

    But getting back to the yo-yos. We might get a couple more and practise with them. I’d forgotten how much fun yo-yos are and it doesn’t even need batteries for hours (or, in the case of the kids, minutes) of distraction. And it’s really funny watching a grown man try to come with grips with one. It’s the holiday season after all, and I really shouldn’t deprive myself of any fun, should I?

  • Win book vouchers from Total-E-Bound

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    I presume you, gentle reader, know that I write for Total-E-Bound (TEB). Or maybe not. Well, in any case, TEB are holding a competition to win five GBP10 vouchers at their store. The poster is here:

    Go here to enter. It runs till the 20th December, but you can only enter once. Best of luck!