Archive for April, 2009

  • The pirates are coming!

    2

    I’m not sure if I’ll be blogging tomorrow as it’s a public holiday in these here parts. (No, we really don’t have tons and tons of public hols … it just looks that way.) So I thought I’d spruik my latest release, A Pirate’s Passion, due out NEXT WEEK!!

    I’m awful at promotions. Just ask any of my author friends. I feel too strange asking for guest blog spots or making proposals to some group that might be able to leverage my skills. Imagine British post-colonial psychological hangovers combined with basic Asian repression. Yikes, what a combination, but that’s what I seem to have. Kaz, meet headlights.

    But, anyway, my first release for 2009, an s-f romance featuring space pirates, A Pirate’s Passion, is due for release from Total-E-Bound on Monday, 4 May. Here’s the utterly beautiful cover by Lyn Taylor:

    Cover for A Pirate's Passion

    And you get an excerpt! In the exchange below, Tera d’Olzon is masquerading as someone else while trying to negotiate her way out of pirate Gil Ahn’s clutches. What she doesn’t know is that he’s already figured out who she really is ….


    “My name is Cerian Nintral,” she told him. “Happy now?”
    “And where are you from … Cerian Nintral?”
    “My family are administrators on Tor Phi.”
    “Tor Phi? They must be good at their jobs to be located so close to the Republic centre. But do they know about their young daughter traipsing around the galaxy in stolen spaceships while they’re busy … administering?”
    “What my family does, or doesn’t, know about me is none of your business.”
    “And what level administrators are they, this family of yours?”
    “Er, level five.” That question took her off-guard. In truth, she hadn’t met many people from the administrative class, but her father had once mentioned negotiating with level seven administrators, so Tera assumed that five was a nice, solid, mid-level to be at.
    He nodded. “Level five. Ambitious, but not too ambitious. Privileged, but with no excesses to be ostentatious about. All right,” he hesitated for a split-second, “Cerian Nintral. Let’s say you’re the treasured daughter of level five administrators. I think fifty thousand might be a fair price to pay to be set down safe on some rock somewhere.”
    Fifty thousand. It was a steep price, but not as high as Tera was anticipating. She tried not to let the relief show on her face.
    “I can get you forty-five,” she countered. “Five hundred up-front. The rest triggered when my ship and I are thirty light-seconds from yours.”
    “Ship?” He looked surprised. “Who said anything about you taking your ship? We’re just talking about your person here.”
    Startled, she jumped to her feet and stared at him. “My person?”
    “Just what you’re standing in,” he added. “No trips back to pick up extra clothing, or to pack a bag. Just you. Delivered safely back to, oh let’s say, the edge of the Tor sector. Shouldn’t take you too long to hitch a ride home from there. All for fifty thousand.”
    No, not the Tor sector. That was too close to Tor Gamma, where she had stolen the craft from in the first place. If she knew the Republic, they’d have the entire sector locked down and swarming with Security Force personnel by now.
    “What if I don’t want to be dropped there?”
    “You mean you don’t want to go back to your family? I’m sure they’re very worried about you.”
    “Not. Tor. Sector.”
    He looked her up and down — assessing, but still with that hint of detestable good cheer in his eyes.
    “A destination of your choice? A hundred thousand.”
    “One hundred thousand.” Even if she called in every favour she was owed, she doubted she’d be able to scrape up more than sixty thousand without tipping off her family. Her real family. “And what about my ship?”
    “You want your ship as well? You’re a big spender, aren’t you? Three hundred thousand.”


    You can buy A Pirate’s Passion from Total-E-Bound on TUESDAYMONDAY!

  • Just as well he’s not a romance writer, then

    2

    Following on from my blog a little over a week ago about comedians comes another event concerning comedy. (Strange attractors and all that.)

    It’s about Dave Hughes, who is undoubtedly one of the most popular comedians in Australia. I like watching him and feel that the vast majority of his jokes are absolute winners, although he does have a clanger or two every so often. But then, even Connolly had his off days (most notably when he was beardless). The thing is, Dave Hughes admits, in a recent article, that he harboured a “bitter grudge” against journalist Andrew Murfett for a review Murfett wrote about one of Hughes’ shows. To his credit, Hughes felt that he’d been letting the negativity bring him down, and so — three years later — he organised a face-to-face meeting with his critic in order to let go of the grudge and “live in the now”.

    Wow, I thought. Somebody bearing a bitter grudge for THREE YEARS. How bad must the review have been? I’m sure The Age will let me know if I’m crossing the boundaries of fair use, but I thought I had to include the review (as posted at the end of the article I linked to above), just so you get the full picture.

    DAVE Hughes’ management this week told The Age, the festival’s major media sponsor, that its reviewers would not receive tickets. Perhaps there’s a less sinister issue at play. Hughes is acutely aware that his legion of fans will comfortably hand over their $35 (plus $7 booking fee) and fill each show he puts on sale.

    Arriving on stage last night and surmising the three-tiered venue, he said he felt like he was playing a gig “at the Chadstone Food Court”.

    Hughesy Rides Again, his umpteenth Comedy Festival show, delivers more of what his adoring fan base loves — frivolous audience banter and a broad range of jokes — some old, some new.

    His schtick, delivered drolly with his instantly familiar ocker accent was, as ever, warmly received. Anything offensive is typically recanted or disavowed in the most self-deprecating way: Hughes shuffling his feet, smirking and placing his hand innocuously over his face.

    Many of the topics covered when Hughes appeared on Andrew Denton’s Enough Rope two years ago (ironically, he appeared the same night as Pauline Hanson) were revisited.

    We heard again of his aversion to alcohol, how he lost his virginity, and his home town, Warrnambool. There was also some humorous and some inane banter referencing pop cultural matters such as AFL footballers and Russell Crowe. As well as frequently speaking of himself in the third person, Hughes also delivered an amusing outburst about celebrity.

    Interestingly, he lost some of his constituency with a pro same-sex marriage tirade that his audience seemed to disagree with. He had them back on side quickly, however.

    There was also a surprisingly benign deed — Hughes offered free tickets to a group of fans who confused the show’s start time. Hughesy Rides Again is, as its title suggests, a surprise-free hour of stand-up with the protagonist once again in cruise control. Good on him.

    Now, having flirted with comedy for a little while, and currently as a fiction writer, I can understand fragility. I can understand wanting reassurance. I can understand sensitivity. I can understand the howling, bitter pain of rejection and the searing tears of anguish as you slit open yet another envelope and see a badly photocopied form rejection letter drip acid into your eyes while the tough-toothed demons of insecurity rip your flesh into bloody gobbets and gnaw at your trembling, flensed bones. (TMI, you think?) But letting the above review lead you to a “bitter grudge” for THREE YEARS??? Hughesy, come on!!!

    As time moves inexorably to entropy, the one thing that keeps occurring to me is just how bloody tough romance writers really are. They’re cheerful, practical, determined, focused. And tough. Tougher than your average science-fiction prima donna author. And, it seems, tougher than the most popular comedian in Australia.

    I’m speaking to the writers particularly here. Can you imagine bearing a hate-on for a 3-star Amazon review, to the effect that you feel compelled to sit down with the reviewer to clear the air because it’s just been eating you up too much for several YEARS? To me, the review Murfett delivered was like being flayed with a wet noodle but romance writers put up with so so much worse, and yet still manage to smile through it. (What they say to their Significant Others, however, remains part of patient-therapist confidentiality.) Would a three-star review bother you years later?

    In fact, there’s a lot of gold in what Murfett says. If I was the comedian reading this, it would probably tell me to develop new material pronto, finally decide on the level of offence I’m going to incorporate in my stand-up shows, and cut out anything that smacks of sermonising because it loses the audience. Oh, and perhaps sponsor some charity, so people know that I’m basically a decent person and are not surprised by it.

    All I’m saying is, it could have been worse. A lot worse. Hughes could be a romance writer getting savaged by [insert name of reviewer-of-choice here]. Could you imagine it?

  • So what the hell are “flu-like symptoms”?

    0

    I went around the intertubes, reading about this Swine Flu Thing. And every newspaper, from Australia to Malaysia to United States (and including the WHO FAQ) only describe the Swine Flu in terms of “flu-like symptoms”. Well, I mean to say, what the hell are “flu-like symptoms”? Aching bones? Where? High temperature? If so, what range? Cough? What type? I bet you can ask two people to describe the symptoms of the flu and you’d probably end up with at least three lists of characteristics.

    The utter lack of a clear description of “flu-like symptoms” from various “authorities” and “journalists” is appalling. I’m sorry to say the best I could find was from The Guardian:

    The symptoms of swine flu are similar to normal flu, and include fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, chills and fatigue. Some patients have also reported diarrhoea and vomiting. In very young children, the warning signs include fast or troubled breathing, a bluish skin tone, a failure to interact with others, and being highly irritable. As with seasonal flu, swine flu varies in severity, with the worst cases leading to fatal pneumonia and respiratory failure. The new strain seems to be more lethal to those in the 25 to 45 age range – an ominous sign, as this was a hallmark of the Spanish 1918 flu pandemic that killed tens of millions worldwide. Younger people were probably hit harder by the 1918 flu virus because their immune systems over-reacted.

    And, to be honest, that’s barely enough when you’re talking about the potential of the 1918 pandemic. I’m not one for telling everybody to panic but is it really too much to demand just a modicum of measured reporting from our media masters? Is it really too much trouble to inform the general public of specific symptoms they should be on the lookout for? Obviously so. Welcome to pandemic theatre.

  • I’ve been sick

    4

    Sorry for not blogging on Friday but I’ve been sick. And it wasn’t the usual two-day “die in a ditch then get better” kind of thing. Oh no, this has been laid out in various stages of physical distress for a little more than a week now (and counting).

    Little Dinosaur brought the virus home. (She now bears the charming sobriquet of “Typhoid Mary”.) It only took her two days to get over it. Likewise The Wast. But for J and I it’s been an uphill battle just to look some food in the eye, much less function like normal human beings.

    Why? Is it because we’re getting older? Or is it because of other circumstances? I already know my immune system isn’t the best, after two international moves in two years and no holidays. I’m hoping that my inability to quickly bounce back from this is more an indication of being generally run down rather than due to age. But you know you’re getting old when you even start to consider stuff like that. It looks like I lost my cloak of invulnerability in my 30s.

    So apologies for the inattentiveness. It was all I could do to get the interview with the wonderful Maya Reynolds up and running before crawling back to bed. And no, I didn’t go to the doctor. What are they supposed to do in such situations? It’s not as though I’m dying (contrary to how I might have felt from time to time). And if I go to the clinic, I’ll probably be sitting next to other people who are coughing and spluttering all over the place. Or else, I’ll be the one coughing and spluttering over everybody else.  I’ll probably get some painkillers and be told to take it easy. Well, that’s something I can do for myself at home. All things considered, with the getting there, and the waiting, and the explaining, and the waiting for the prescription to fill, it’s actually quite stressful going to the doctor. Personally, I’d rather nap. So, what about you? When you have a bad cold, do you hike it to the body mechanic? Or do you try to heal yourself?

  • Maya Reynolds on podcast!

    3

    Late last week, I had the wonderful opportunity to sit down and chat with Maya Reynolds, bestselling author of “Bad Girl”, and with a new recent release of “Bad Boy”.

    Maya is a wonderful lady and we spoke about her past careers (all high-pressure, high-adrenalin) and how it related to the mostly solitary occupation of a writer. We also spoke about Texas, priorities and what she’s working on.

    Please go to Radio Free Bliss to have a listen to the interview. And Maya’s always informative blog can be found here.

    Thanks for the chat, Maya! I had a great time and hope you did too.

  • You’re censoring WHO…!

    0

    J and I like comedians. If there’s a standup show on TV, we’ll make it a special point to watch, in the hope of catching an up and coming new talent. Not many people know this, but I was given the chance to be part of a stand-up duo, with a man I met on a very long trans-Pacific plane flight. Interestingly, he was in IT too. Unfortunately, while I lived on the West Coast, he lived on the East, so that put paid to a partnership I thought would be quite novel and also funny. Alan, if you’re out there … hi!

    My favourite comedian is Billy Connolly, but only during those times when he has/had a beard. During his beardless days, I thought he meandered into a tad too much bitterness. Who knew facial hair would make such a difference? I also like Dave Chappelle and Groucho Marx and the old Australian comedy sketch shows that launched the careers of Rob Sitch, Jane Kennedy, Santo Cilauro and Eric Bana, to name a few. (Personally, I don’t think the range of female comedians in Australia can be beaten. They have all, without exception, been top notch.)

    Another name makes it onto our semi-regular watch list and that is Jay Leno. The man must be the cleanest (as in no profanity) comedian around. And, say what you want about him, at least he’s consistent. So it’s a bit of a surprise, when tuning into his show on NBC satellite TV on the weekend, to see that Leno is censored by the Malaysian authorities. At first, we thought we just weren’t paying that much attention. Then, we thought the little silences meant there was some technical glitch happening. I mean, Jay Leno, people! Then, it dawned on us that the government was actually censoring him. We looked at each other in disbelief and paid closer attention. What kind of stuff was getting the silent treatment?

    Well, anything related to homosexuality really. I never realised how much gay material Jay used. I doubt he realises it either. In some cases, entire little monologues were (badly) chopped. It got to be amusing in and of itself after a while as we tried to figure out what was okay to let through and what was verboten. Somebody should turn this into a drinking game.

    So homosexuality is out. This is an interesting insight into Malaysian society, which is actually very tolerant in general. But, as usual, put religion in there and it turns into the inevitable self-righteous witch hunt.

    But, back to the topic at hand. In addition to gay jokes, the word “kinky” was also censored, although “testicles” was not. If anybody can explain that one, please feel free.

  • Hey Charles, you there?

    4

    Charles Tan has a great essay on Freedom and Figure of Speech in the Philippines on his blog. I began to reply to it and then it got longer. And longer. And longer. And I thought, this is ridiculous. So, Charles, here’s my perhaps tangential reply to your very interesting and thoughtful blog.

    I can’t talk to being a Chinese. Or a Filipina. But as an Asian, perhaps I can take a meta-view of the topic of freedom of speech.

    There are elements at play in Asia that aren’t so evident elsewhere in the world. Many countries in the region have a strong tradition of collectivism, for example. That’s why, in a room of Asian PhD students, nobody asks any questions! History is replete with examples of people speaking up, only to find that their family/village/town/dog gets killed/tortured/mutilated in retribution. Country and western music lyrics have nothing on an Asian ruler’s revenge schtick.

    As if that wasn’t bad enough, a lot of us also suffered — and still do — through colonialism and its ramifications. In addition to the “not speaking up” thing, colonialism also taught us that the whiter the skin, the more profound the utterings. It’s no surprise that the elites in most Asian countries are the fairer skinned ones.

    Into this mix, then, we bring satire. Charles mentions Chip Tsao’s essay “The War At Home“, which brought up a lot of “nationalist” Filipino criticism of Tsao. Having not read it before, I thought it was a hoot, but that’s my personal opinion. An upshot of this, however, is that some people are now reluctant to write satire because things they say can be taken out of context. Luis Beltran, a Filipino journalist, wrote satirically of President Corazon Aquino “hiding under the bed” during a 1987 coup attempt, and she sued him, saying, among other things, that — due to the construction of the bed — it was physically impossible for her to do so.

    Ah. Here we come across the well-oiled weapon of the nationalists and the establishment. You see, it’s my opinion that the ridicule of the words of satirists are not coming from imbeciles, but from people who are deftly calculating. It’s part of the War of Swaying Opinion and is played by the satirist through the use of succinct terms of ridicule and played by the establishment through the use of moral outrage at a literal interpetation of the words. And this is where budding satirists get tripped up. S/he (the satirist) should remember that what’s important is not what the establishment says, but what the average person thinks. And thus, any attempts at satire are acts of courage, no matter how badly done.

    Charles points out in his essay that if you’re not prepared to stand or fall on the basis of your satiric words, but have to couch it in disclaimers, then you’re better off not making the point at all. And I agree. Under the circumstances of public discourse, disclaimers can only play into the moral outrage of your opponent, conceding to their rules and weakening your own position.

    And, let’s be honest here, satire is the weapon of establishment’s underdog. Powerful political and economic figures don’t use satire. They don’t have to. Dissidents do. It can be bitingly powerful. But you have to have the courage of your convictions to aim and then fire.

    Following on from this, a lot of Asia looks towards Western liberal societies for paths to follow. In recent times, however, this has become more and more difficult. I feel that, in a lot of ways, the pendulum is swinging the other way, and it is shocking to realise that there are actually Asians who are being more morally courageous than their colleages in Western countries. Take Malaysia, for example. On Sunday, I read a 2-page spread on the possible repeal of the unconscionable Internal Security Act (ISA). This is while the UK, USA, Canada and Australia seek to bring to power — or keep in power — legislation that makes the ISA look quite benign. For many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that we have to start growing up sometime, we have to start looking inwards, towards our own homegrown critics and what they have to say, rather than outwards. And I believe that people such as Chip Tsao are a necessary part of this.

    So what am I trying to say? Whether well-written or badly-written, the rise of satire in Asia, to me, indicates a slow intellectual awakening and throwing off of both collectivist and colonialist thought. The Asian satirist has to fight, not only the jingoism of the establishment, but also the ingrained culture from decades or centuries of pretending not to notice anything, in order to hold a mirror to his/her society and provoke — if not overnight change — than certainly some energised public discourse. Whether a pithy t-shirt slogan, or an essay in a national magazine, I believe that freedom of speech is ever so slowly starting to grow roots in the region, with satire as its first step. I look forward to seeing, reading, and hearing more about it in the years to come.

  • Radio show for April

    0

    Well, it appears that the timing for catching me on Blog Talk Radio has settled down to a steady fourteenth of the month. So, in view of that, if you’d like to catch me on Total-E-Talk talking about Total-E-Bound’s April releases, direct your browsers to the following:

    Total-E-Talk

    at the following times:

    Singapore/Malaysia – 6:00pm
    UK – 11:00pmam
    Europe – midnightmidday
    US Pacific – 3:00am
    US Mountain – 4:00am
    US Central – 5:00am
    US East – 6:00am

    Hopefully the gremlins will be out of the system this time (what’s that? Did you say, “couldn’t be any worse than last time”?) and I’ll actually be able to hear what’s being played. It’s a 30-minute show, so tune in, call in, chat or whatever takes your fancy. If the time is inconvenient, you can always catch me on replay at the Total-E-Talk site.

  • Amazon Rank

    0

    Oh yeah … and Amazon Rank.

    In case you’re wondering what that is all about, go here for the LA Times explanation and here for the Smart Bitches revenge.

  • The Wast’s Sardine Curry

    2

    I know, I didn’t blog on Friday. Put it down to a moment of madness. Being Malaysia, the kids didn’t have the day off but we did! Can you imagine? A morning and part-afternoon alone with my husband? We haven’t had time together like that for a couple of years now. So we made the most of it by having breakfast outside together, then doing some leisurely shopping before heading home in time for the school bus to drop off our kids. It was sheer bliss. But that meant I missed Friday’s blog. So, without further ado, here it is ….

    We’ve been letting the kids help us cook off and on for the past few years now. But only recently, J and I took the decision to get a bit more systematic about this, recognising that we’ve perhaps been a little too protective of our darlings in the kitchen. To this end, The Wast cooked his first curry on the weekend. It’s very simple and tastes lovely … and will hopefully encourage him to become a bit more adventurous in his own culinary adventures, although I really can’t complain — he already reaches for the chilli sauce in restaurants now instead of the tomato sauce (ketchup). So, if you’d like a dead-easy curry recipe, here’s one for you too.

    Oil
    1 large onion, halved and sliced into half-rings
    1 teaspoon black mustard seeds
    Small handful of curry leaves
    8 small to medium okra, washed and trimmed but left whole
    3 whole chillies (serrano or jalapeno work well) Optional
    1 pouch fish curry paste
    1 oval tin of sardines in tomato sauce (around 400g)

    1. Heat oil in pan. Add onions, mustard seeds and curry leaves. Stir. Be careful as the mustard seeds will pop.
    2. When onions are soft, add okra and, if using, chillies. Stir-fry for a few minutes.
    3. Add curry paste and mix vegetables in this. If you find the mix too thick, add up to a cup of water to make the gravy thinner.
    4. Simmer, with lid on, for 6-8 minutes.
    5. Open tin of sardines and add juice to the simmering curry. Stir.
    6. Switch off the heat. Carefully add sardines to the curry, being careful not to break the fish. Replace saucepan lid to let fish warm through in the curry sauce.
    7. Keep in the fridge overnight after cooling. Heat the next day and have with the flat bread of your preference, preferably for breakfast.

    Here’s a picture of it:

    The Wast's sardine curry

    If you can’t source pouches of curry paste, use curry powder. Mix two to three tablespoons of powder with enough water to form a paste. You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned salt at all. The amount you use depends on the paste/powder. If I find a curry needs salt, I add it either while cooling down after cooking or while warming up before serving for the first time. (I’m careful with salt because J has high blood pressure.) Also, ALL my curries are made the day before they’re eaten.

Page 1 of 212»