Archive for May, 2009

  • To summarise….

    1

    So, to cap off our little sojourn into the back-alleys of Australia’s multicultural utopia, what you really need to deal with in Australia is not so much its racism, but its five hundred kilo mother of a progenitor — xenophobia.

    You can be blue-skinned with yellow polka-dots, but you will be lauded by Australians as long as you can relate dinky-di, heart-warming stories about the blue cattle dog you rescued from a shelter and how easy and — oh, ha ha! — hilarious it can be to jump from your own culture to the Australian one and back again. Say, loudly, that Australia is the best country in the world, and at least the comments about you being some kind of Asian whore will take place behind your back rather than to your face.

    But, gentle reader, do not criticise. Ever. Even if well-intentioned, believing it is your right as a citizen in a so-called First World democracy to try to improve society’s lot by pointing out pitfalls.

    If you criticise, then even your white/freckled, Celtic/Anglo ancestry will not save you. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a garbage-collector or the Prime Minister of Australia. Paul Keating, my most favourite of Australian PMs despite his insane and ultimately counter-productive love for deregulation, knows this to his peril. He is one of the, shall we say, less favoured, living public figures of the country and it wasn’t because of “the recession we had to have”, or his extremely sharp, Armani dressing style and antique clock collection (although those didn’t help). It was because of two famous quotes. The first he made on 14 May 1986 while still Treasurer, talking about the dangers Australia faced and that if it could not:

    get manufacturing going again and keep moderate wage outcomes and a sensible economic policy, [Australia] will end up being a third-rate economy . . . a banana republic.

    The second was when, as Prime Minister he called Australia:

    … the arse end of the world.

    And, oh my dogs, was there great wailing and gnashing of teeth, yea up unto the heavens, each time! You could hardly talk above the din. He’s the politician everyone loves to hate.

    Look, here’s the sitch. You can be a migrant in Australia and have a happy life. And you can be a Real Australian™ in Australia and have a happy life. Just don’t try to change anything or be different in any way. It’s up to you whether you can live with that.

    POSTSCRIPT: One thing Paul J Keating was famous for was his acidic wit and propensity for coming out with the best insults ever. A group of students from the Computing and Information Technology faculty at the University of Western Sydney put together a website on Keating insults way back in 1995 and it’s still live. For actual quotes from Paul John Keating, go here. Ah, politics was so much more interesting when he was around. Happy reading!

    POSTSCRIPT 2: After retiring from the public spotlight, more or less, Keating divorced his wife and, I believe, partnered with an Indonesian man. But I seem to be one of very few people who actually remember that. Even his Wikipedia entry doesn’t contain a whiff of it. What is everyone being so coy about?

  • Australia as a racist country, continued

    1

    It’s taken me a few years to think this through, but I’m not really happy labelling Australia as a racist country. What, you say, after what you put down in your last blog? Yes. I wish to include the superset term. Australia isn’t so much racist, as xenophobic.

    As a coloured person or migrant, it’s difficult to see slights as something other than a reflection of your skin or accent, and so it’s taken me a while to truly put things in perspective. Australians dislike people, not because of their skin colour, or accent. Australians dislike people who are different.

    Alan is an Anglo-Australian. He was born and educated in Australia. As an adult, in the early 1990s, he had the opportunity to work in the USA for a very large bank. After being promoted to a position of managing mergers and acquisitions with smaller banks, he decided to move his family back to Australia for its quality of life. Eight months later, he was still unemployed by any Australian bank because he had no “local experience”. He ended up moving back to the States.

    Brad and Christine were highly-educated Swiss nationals, both in high-powered jobs in Geneva, handling finance and technology positions across Europe. They spoke English fluently. They thought the pace of life in Europe to be too hectic, and decided to migrate to Australia. Two years later, Christine is still unemployed and Brad is a part-time teacher at one of the local primary schools.

    Derek is an Anglo-Australian who grabbed the opportunity to work in Italy when he was in his early 20s. After meeting his girlfriend over there, they decided to move back to Australia. Derek was a bit smarter because he organised his transfer while still in Europe. During his six months in Australia, however, his girlfriend (an Australian citizen) remained unemployed. At the end of that time, he organised a transfer to Hong Kong. “I can’t stand it,” he told me. “The prices in Australia are outrageous, the food is horrible, the service is atrociously rude everywhere and Ek-Ong can’t even get an interview with a single company. I don’t know if we’re ever coming back.”

    Fred is a hard-working IT programmer who fell in love with someone in another state. A white Anglo-Australian, he moved from Adelaide to Sydney. By the time I spoke to him, he’d been living in Sydney for five years. “The first two years were hell,” I remember him telling me. “I had to live off my savings for the first few months because I couldn’t get a job. The headhunters kept telling me I didn’t have ‘local experience’. Eventually, I got a junior programmer gig and have been working my way up in seniority again since then.”
    “What would it be like for a Sydneysider moving to Adelaide?” I asked.
    “The same,” he replies. “They’d give you the same answer. Two years. That seems to be the amount of time it takes to properly break into any city in Australia.”

    It’s not just about ancestry. It’s about differences. Ask Clive James why he doesn’t live in Australia. Ask Germaine Greer. Australia is not a place for anyone “different”, even if that person happens to have the same colour skin as the majority population. That firmly nails the crime as one, not of racism, but of xenophobia.

    I wonder if part of the problem is that an entire continent got colonised by one major and ruthless group of people? In my alternate-world musings, I’d like to think of what Australia could be if, in addition to establishing a true dialogue with the native Australians, it was also colonised by two or three other ethnic groups. Of course, there would still be problems, but perhaps there wouldn’t be the kind of myopic and thoughtless cruelty of word that puts other nations to shame. I wonder.

    But to get back to the original point. I want to be perfectly clear on this. Nobody physically bashed me for being an Asian. All I endured was year upon year of what Pung would call “casual name-calling”. So, there couldn’t possibly be any “long-term effects”, right? Then how is it that whenever I’m about to be introduced to a white-skinned person, I wonder whether they’ll ignore me or shake my hand? Whether, in white-majority social situations, anyone will talk to me or just walk away? Before I married J, I worried that his family would not approve of a “coloured” woman with their son. (I’d been in that situation before.) And I wonder whether the Australian/English women I meet occasionally who call admittedly short-haired Little Dinosaur, usually sporting something with pink hearts on it, a boy are trying to make some kind of malicious point or are just wilfully blind? Casual rudeness, thy sting is just as venomous.

    According to Australian standards, because I haven’t been tortured or physically scarred, that means I couldn’t possibly have suffered any lingering effects from “irritating condescension” or “casual name calling”. I couldn’t possibly have been a victim of xenophobia, regardless of its frequency and my own resultant social fears, could I? You tell me.

  • Scientific proof – gay marriage and earthquakes

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    Before I continue with my 2-part3-part blog series on what Sol Trujillo has dug up in Australia, I thought I’d just mention an article at the Green Gabbro science blog on how gay marriage actually causes earthquakes. Thanks for the link go to Andrew Wheeler (the s-f interested one).

    Oh, and please read the comments at Gabbro as well. They’re as entertaining as the article itself. My personal favourite is #8.

  • So, is Australia a racist country?

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    The latest furore has arisen from Sol Trujillo, former CEO of giant Australian telecommunications company, Telstra Corporation. From the single-word “adios” given to him by Australian PM, Kevin Rudd, to the appellation of “Mexican bandit” from a radio host, Trujillo has now come under fire following these comments:

    BBC REPORTER: I noticed reading the papers there that when you were referred to they would always point out that you were, had a Hispanic background or whatever. In other words in Britain and in America it would have been neither here nor there. In Australia it was invariably pointed out.

    And the Prime Minister when asked what his parting words to you would be, he said, “Adios”. Was that racism?

    SOL TRUJILLO: I think by definition there were even columnists that wrote stories that said it was. But you know, my point is, is that you know that does exist and it’s got to change because the world is full of a lot of people and most economies have to take advantage, including Australia, of a diverse set of people. And if there’s a belief that only certain people are acceptable versus others, that is a sad state.

    LIVENEWS goes on to report that:

    [Trujillo] also said working in Australia was like reverting to the bad old days of the United States.

    “Well I would say Australia is very different to the US,” he said.

    “In many ways it’s like stepping back in time, just simply because of some of the policies – some of the laws that are more recent.

    “[For example] some of the immigration policies that weren’t changed until about 30 years ago or so – which were very restrictive.”

    Of course, the rebuttals from Australia, and the words used, are illustrative in themselves: sour grapes, don’t call us backward racists…you Mexican swine!, ridiculous, and so on.

    What Australia usually does at this point is to trot out its docile migrants to do battle. But I’ll get to them in a minute.

    The most common objection to the charge of racism is along the lines of:

    “I think there was a bit of sour grapes in them actually,” Mr Brumby [Victorian Premier] told reporters.

    “He’s an example, he came here from overseas and he had a great job, he was awarded that job, there was no discrimination or prejudice against him.”

    So, according to Mr. Brumby what I had to put up with on numerous occasions in my own working life, being awarded a contract and then having to also put up with comments along the lines of “chocolate bunny”, “chocolate drops”, “Asian prostitute”, etc., is not racism because — dagnabbit! — I was given an opportunity to earn a living. Thus, earning a wage overshadows any sense of racism whatsoever.

    AUSSIE RACISM RULE #1: It is only racism if you’re unemployed and starving to death.

    COROLLARY: It can’t be racism if it happens while you’re at work and earning money.

    Now, back to the docile migrants:

    Writer Alice Pung, who was born in Australia to Chinese-Cambodian migrant parents, distinguished racism, which had a “long-term adverse effect”, from casual name-calling.

    So, according to Ms Pung, being called names does not result in a “long-term adverse effect”. I wonder, if someone called Ms Pung or her children “slopes”, “wogs”, “black monkeys”, “black bitch”, “Asian scum”, “chinky-eyed whore”, whether there would be any “long-term adverse effects” to it, or whether it would be classified as “casual name-calling”? What takes it from one to another? One incident? Three? Six? One year? Four years? Thirty years?

    AUSSIE RACISM RULE #2: It’s not racism if an Australian coloured person says it isn’t.

    COROLLARY: It’s not racism even if the person slighted feels insulted multiple times over several years.

    Moral philosopher Raimond Gaita was also somewhat taken aback. He said there was a big difference between “slightly irritating condescension” displayed by Anglo-Celtic Australians to people like his Romanian-born father in the 1950s, and the racist hatred and anti-Semitism that had riven Europe last century.

    AUSSIE RACISM RULE #3: If you think it’s racism, it’s because you’re not sensitive/educated enough to know the difference between “racism”, “condescension”, “patronisation”, “discrimination” and the “Aussie sense of humour”. But what do you expect from migrants, for Chrissakes? They can’t even speak English properly!

    I believe Gaita is a fan of Dick Cheney who maintains to this day that “enhanced interrogation techniques” are not “torture”. Well, you’re using many more syllables for a start, aren’t you? “Racism” has 3 syllables, whereas “slightly irritating condescension” has 10. Clearly, they’re not the same thing at all.

    AUSSIE RACISM RULE #4: Unless people of your ethnic group are being burnt at the stake or gassed to death, it’s not racism.

    Take it from me, Australia is a racist country. Much more so than the United States. Having worked and lived in both countries, I can clearly attest to that. I was only victim to one profiling incident at LAX many years ago while on a vacation, whereas I was subjected to systemic bigotry in Australia from the time I started primary school to the time we left the country, decades later. The only place I was “Australian” was outside Australia. Inside, I was constantly being asked “where are you really from?”. A so-called friend even told me once that I’m not a Real Australian™, despite the fact that I had citizenship for longer than he’d been alive. J, a white-skinned European, faced the same kind of issues, being told to his face that he was taking jobs away “from Real Australians™”. Ah, gotta love those Real Australians™.

    When I try to talk about this to Anglo-Australians, they get defensive and ask me: “Why did you stick around for so long then? Why not leave Australia earlier?” (Which is an interesting response in itself, don’t you think? If you want to criticise anything, get out!) And the answer is, because you think the whole world is like that, until you experience things differently. All the years I was travelling on vacation, I discarded the open friendliness of the various locals because I’m well aware that what you experience as a tourist is not always what you experience as a resident. Because Australia is a truly beautiful country (and it is), I kept coming back, thinking that I was feeling hurt only because Australians have a rough sense of humour and, besides, there must come a time when they start becoming more inclusive.

    I was wrong. Children change everything. And when I had ones of my own, I wondered whether I could — in clear conscience — bring them up in an environment that had not moved forward in three decades. I couldn’t. Neither could J. So we left.

    But I do have a caveat to the pronouncement on Australia’s racist environment, and I’ll cover it in my next blog.

    POSTSCRIPT: There’s more from a Brisbane-based independent journalist, Derek Barry, at his Woolly Days blog, which also gives an extremely succinct and honest summary of Trujillo’s time at Telstra’s helm.

  • Attention, blog readers!

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    You only have till the end of this week to comment on a blog and win yourself a copy of my latest release, “A Pirate’s Passion”, out from Total-E-Bound. I know, the laws of author promotion tell me I should have been mentioning this every day, but I get caught up in things and forget. My bad.

    Up till now, I see that the competition hasn’t been very successful in garnering reader remarks, although the analytics of the site tell me that I do have readers. Just ones that aren’t comfortable saying anything. :)

    So, how’s this instead? I’ll still keep the competition open but, if you’d rather not enter, then may I ask a favour instead? If you enjoy my writing, please mention it to one other person who you think would also enjoy my writing. And, who knows? I may end up being able to write full-time!

    And thanks for reading my blog! It’s very much appreciated.

  • The joys of outsourcing

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    One of the perennial problems in IT is getting staff who are skilled in the work they’re supposed to do. Since outsourcing has gained momentum, this problem has become worse because, quite simply and in my opinion, the quality of IT engineering graduates from India (and I name them because they’re the biggest outsourcing country) has been sub-standard, to say the least. I may be stating this quite baldly, but I’m not the only one saying such things.

    As a regular reader of UK IT online paper, The Register, I often come across comments along the lines of US engineering graduates being quite good, with a few failures, while Indian engineering graduates are quite mediocre, with a few standouts. I also remember reading comments from one poster saying that, after his UK technical team had interviewed and rejected all the technical staff handling an outsourced project in India, future interviews followed two paths: (a) a third person would be present and the phone (now in speakerphone mode) would be muted after each question was asked; after a long pause, the phone would be unmuted and the interviewee would then answer the question correctly; and (b) the technical team was forced to hand over the interview questions, after which all future interviewees recited identical answers to every one of those questions, as if perhaps reading from a sheet of paper.

    I find the lack of subtlety inherent in these two scenarios to be both blackly hilarious and mundanely characteristic, even if I do sympathise with the UK interviewer and his team. And, in case anyone’s interested, I find UK and European engineers (that is, engineers who have graduated from UK/European institutions) to be the best I’ve ever worked with — professional, courteous, dedicated. It’s always a joy to mull over a problem with them.

    Because I’m in the IT world, I tend to get caught up in the myopia that all things bad only happen in IT-World. I forget that there are other professions that also have to put up with the bane of outsourcing. And so it’s timely that Jeremy Scahill reminds me of it once more. The title of his article is “KBR Was Paid $83 Million in Bonuses for Work That Electrocuted US Soldiers” and you can find it here. I won’t go through all the details, but here’s what caught my attention:

    Eric Peters, a Master Electrician who worked for KBR in Iraq as recently as 2009 said that 50% of the KBR managed buildings he saw were not properly wired …. [Peters]  estimated that at least half of the electricians hired by KBR –many of them cheaper-costing Third Country Nationals … would not have been hired to work in the US. … [Workers] from countries such as India, Bangladesh and Bosnia — are estimated to do some 60% of the electrical work for KBR in Iraq. Peters charged that KBR allowed trainees to take notes in to certification tests, making it very easy to be cleared for work [my emphasis --ed.].

    Imagine this. You’re driving along an unknown track of a road. And you stop someone to ask about the conditions ahead, and they tell you that the conditions ahead are great, the road is dry and it widens out before too long. Cheered, you continue along your way, only to discover, two hundred metres further along, that your car is now mired to its axles in sticky mud and your cellphone is out of service range. You’re sitting on a clump of damp grass, your legs covered with caking mud, wondering what the hell you’re going to do, when you spy another car coming around the corner. Before you have a chance to do, or say, anything, the second car bogs itself the exact same way you have. And your first reaction, because nothing else seems adequate, is to laugh.

    That’s how I feel right now.

  • What’s with all the pre-emption already?

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    The USA seems to have an unhealthy obsession with pre-emptive everything nowadays. First it’s a foreign defence policy predicated on pre-emptive action. And now it’s pre-emptive quitters. Say, weren’t you the country that gave us “Minority Report”, lecturing us on the dangers of pre-emption (at least, that’s what I think it said … forgive me, my attention was focused on Tom Cruise’s nose. I’m shallow like that)? So what’s with Google lately?

    In case you haven’t heard, Google have developed an algorithm that identifies quitters before they resign. According to the Wall Street Journal and The Age:

    Google examined data from employee reviews and promotion and pay histories to try to identify which of its 20,000 employees were most likely to leave the California-based company.

    Having worked in the USA, I know that once you walk past those office doors, the company owns every skerrick of employment-related piece of data that pertains to you, so I’m not surprised that they even did this. However, I am surprised by Edward Lawler, director of the Center for Effective Organizations at the University of Southern California, who is quoted in the WSJ article as saying Google is “clearly ahead of the curve” in taking “a more quantitative approach” to personnel decisions.

    Good grief! Hasn’t this been one of the major problems in this world? The trumpeting of the quantitative over the qualitative? Since when is taking a “quantitative approach” to human beings a better thing? It’s certainly a simpler thing. A thing that looks good in presentations. A number that can make a manager angling for a promotion look damn fine. But “ahead of the curve”? I doubt that.

    Recent Predator drone strikes in Pakistan have killed over 600 people. (Fact) The Pentagon estimates that the number of al-Qaeda operatives killed in such a way has been 7% of the total casualties. (Fact) That’s taking the quantitative approach to something. The military and governments of the world do it all the time to obscure very real human suffering, and it’s vile and pernicious and dehumanising.

    If I am the manager of someone, then it’s my job to know whether someone is dissatisfied with their work. Reducing a skill of people management and motivation to a damn algorithm (and I say that being a lover of algorithms) is one of the most heinous things I’ve ever heard of. And here’s a newsflash. Not everything in the world can be reduced to numbers.

    Let’s say I have a boring job, have not had a promotion in years, no pay raise, and feel I’ve been under-appreciated. According to Google, I’m going to leave. However, I am looking after an invalid parent and have three small children. Am I going to leave? Maybe. I may either have really had enough … or I may figure that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

    But then I win a lottery jackpot. Am I going to leave? Maybe. I may try a life of leisure and hire help for my parent and a nanny for my children … or I may try investing it all and keep going to work because that’s the only place I have friends.

    But then I go to the casino on the weekend and blow it all at the blackjack table. Am I going to leave? Maybe. Easy come, easy go, and it’s off to work I go on Monday … or I may decide that this is really the straw that broke the camel’s back and it’s going to empower me to give my old company the boot.

    And so how, pray tell, given the plethora of permutations that make up our lives, is Google’s thin slice of knowledge of me via its HR records going to determine the correct answer at any given time? However, what bothers me more about the Google algorithm is not so much that it will identify potential quitters, but that the real agenda is to pre-emptively identify those who are “dissatisfied” and put those people on the A-list when the inevitable cycle of “restructuring” cuts rolls around. It’s an easy way out, you see. Why bother trying to make the workplace better when you can just get rid of the ones most likely to be unproductive?

    I’d say, thank dogs I don’t work for Google, except I have the feeling that such unmitigated trash (and you know how high-level managers love trash dressed as “a decision-making tool”) will become part of every company’s arsenal in the near future (thus netting Google some additional licensing revenue, I’m sure). And don’t even think of being honest with your manager during your next performance review. That way lies the pink slip. Thanks again, America!

  • Things to be grateful for … and perhaps not

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    Writing is tough. It’s frustrating, solitary, confidence-sapping. There are times when you think to yourself: hell, there must be a better gig than this, right? I wonder if I can be a graphic designer / artist / musician instead? Okay, so that’s a bit of a clumsy segue into the topic for today’s post, but it was the best I could come up with at seven o’clock in the morning. * yawn *

    While I may rant and rail at the injustices levied against the writer profession, it took Courtney Love to reassure me that I’m so so glad I’m not a musician. Way back in May 2000 (nine years ago this week!), Love delivered a speech to the Digital Hollywood online entertainment conference. It’s a long speech, so I won’t reproduce it here and I’m only going to cherry-pick the bits that interest me as a worker in a parallel stream, but what she had to say was really eye-opening.

    This story is about a … band that gets a huge deal with a 20 percent royalty rate and a million-dollar advance. … What happens to that million dollars?

    [The band] spend half a million to record their album [because all studio time and session musicians, engineers, etc. have to be paid for by the band --ed]. That leaves the band with $500,000. They pay $100,000 to their manager for 20 percent commission. They pay $25,000 each to their lawyer and business manager.

    That leaves $350,000 for the four band members to split. After $170,000 in taxes, there’s $180,000 left. That comes out to $45,000 per person.

    That’s $45,000 to live on for a year until the record gets released.

    And you thought author royalties were bad? The scenario Love outlines would be as though we had to pay for each of the publisher’s printing runs as well as the various stages of editing. Now, follow along with writer-type promotion vehicles as she continues:

    The record is a big hit and sells a million copies. … So, this band releases two singles and makes two videos. The two videos cost a million dollars to make and 50 percent of the video production costs are recouped out of the band’s royalties.

    The band gets $200,000 in tour support, which is 100 percent recoupable. ['recoupable' means it has to be paid back to the record company --ed.]

    The record company spends $300,000 on independent radio promotion. You have to pay independent promotion to get your song on the radio; independent promotion is a system where the record companies use middlemen so they can pretend not to know that radio stations — the unified broadcast system — are getting paid to play their records.

    All of those independent promotion costs are charged to the band. [my emphasis --ed.]

    Since the original million-dollar advance is also recoupable, the band owes $2 million to the record company.

    If all of the million records are sold at full price with no discounts or record clubs, the band earns $2 million in royalties, since their 20 percent royalty works out to $2 a record.

    Two million dollars in royalties minus $2 million in recoupable expenses equals … zero!

    So, as Love figures it, sell a million copies of an album and it’s entirely feasible that you’ll still end up with nothing. While, as a writer, you can sell a few tens of thousands of copies and finance an extension to your house. And here’s something that’ll strike horror into the hearts of all writers:

    When you look at the legal line on a CD, it says copyright 1976 Atlantic Records or copyright 1996 RCA Records. When you look at a book, though, it’ll say something like copyright 1999 Susan Faludi, or David Foster Wallace. Authors own their books and license them to publishers. When the contract runs out, writers gets their books back. But record companies own our copyrights forever.

    Love goes on to talk, at length, about artistic endeavour, pirating, changes to legislation, the might of the RIAA, and so on. I still can’t say I understand everything that she said, but what I did understand made me extremely sympathetic to the plight of her and other artists like here. (Which is why I like supporting independent labels so much.)

    And, another point. It’s very clear through Love’s speech that she is angry. Her speech is fluent and coherent but still full of passion and righteous anger. My question is this: when did that become a bad thing? Because it is now. Any time you stand up and talk about race in fiction, agentfail, writerfail, existing or new publishing models, pernicious clauses slipped into contracts, you’re supposed to be completely unbiased and unemotional about it. Why? If we are discussing a subject we feel passionately about, why not express that passion? What is it with the “oh that person was so worked up, I didn’t listen to her” argument? What is everyone afraid of?

    One clear example of this was the “don’t tase me bro” episode. The young man in question (Andrew Meyer) may have been a bit agitated but, considering the topic he brought up (why John Kerry essentially threw the 2004 election), I thought his rising anger was understandable. One — there are ways to calm people down without tasering them. Two — what he was (oh, how many reports I read about his “troublemaker” past) and how he said it (raising his voice and moving around in a jerky manner) had nothing to do with the topic being discussed. And yet, Meyer ended up being completely dismissed because he was worked up about something. He is denigrated with words such as trouble-maker, “cheeky”, disruptive. His exclamation ends up on countless tshirts. We all get to relive the “fun” via YouTube and cute little dioramas. And his basic question — why did John Kerry deliberately throw the 2004 election? — remains unanswered, if not deliberately buried.

    I already know the basic objection to my question. Someone will say that no point can be cogently made if you’re ranting and screaming. And that’s correct. But, you know — and this may come as a huge revelation to many people — we aren’t digital devices. It isn’t, on the one hand, we’re completely rational and impassive and then — click! — we devolve into slavering, rabies-infested dogs frothing at the mouth. Yet, any slight movement away from the completely rational and impassive end of the scale, even an angstrom, means we’re immediately fair game to be targetted as unstable, crackpot, ranting, hotheaded. It’s a convenient way of dismissing other people’s arguments in an entirely patronising fashion, and I’m starting to dislike the trend immensely.

    In this, I agree unabashedly with Argentinian writer, Osvaldo Soriano — With love or hatred, nevertheless with feeling. For, without our passion, what is humanity?

    Courtney Love’s speech in its entirety (and get a Beverage of Choice ready before you tackle it) is here in the Salon archives. It is angry, it is impassioned. And it’s also cogent and eye-opening. Please note that none of these traits are mutually exclusive.

    COMPETITION! And remember to comment if you want a shot at a copy of “A Pirate’s Passion”, available now from Total-E-Bound. Go to my website to read the entire first chapter of this, and all my other, releases. And you can also download a PDF sampler that has all the first chapters collected in one convenient place for you. Happy commenting!

  • Eurovision! (Part 4)

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    So, Little Dinosaur’s latest love interest, Alexader Rybak of Norway, won the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest. Look, ten out of ten for his chutzpah (he admits he’s not the best singer around), but my niggles were with the very first line of the song:

    Years ago, when I was younger….

    One. What?! As opposed to, “years ago, when I was older“?

    Two. Sweetie, you’re already young. When you were younger implies toddlerhood. And so it was therefore difficult for me to take a toddler love song seriously. Especially, as I said before, with those out-of-condition Cossacks flinging their hats around in the background.

    The lesson from this is that Eurovision is so campy, so over-the-top, that even someone who can’t write songs or sing very well can win it! And that’s the charm of the entire competition. Bosnia & Herzegovina for the 2010 win!

    And remember, commenting before the end of the month means you’re in the running to win a copy of A Pirate’s Passion, now available from Total-E-Bound.

  • Eurovision! (Part 3 of who knows how many)

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    Yes, yes, it’s true! The 25 finalists have been chosen for Saturday’s Eurovision final. The ones determined by voting were:

    Azerbaijan – yay
    Ukraine – yay
    Croatia – y’know, with all those smoke effects, I hardly noticed there was a song. Maybe the live gig in front of the audience was better.
    Lithuania – yep, pretentious, forgettable & emo wows the crowds.
    Moldova – full of young men and pastures. Heaps and heaps of pastures.
    Estonia – yay
    Denmark – can’t even remember them.
    Norway – ah, the ultimate cuteness factor. Of course.
    Greece – minus the travelogue of the good life in Greece, not sure what they had.
    Albania – even an imperfect ABBA is better than none.
    Turkey – those damn jeans again. How do they stay on?
    Sweden – smug Swedish socialists swing selectors.
    Israel – no comment
    Portugal – you gotta be kidding me? Antique boring gets the nod?
    Malta – oh, now I’m insulted. Malta? In?
    Finland – yay (never underestimate the zombie vote)
    Bosnia & Herzegovina – Ah yes, the underpants song. Glad they made it.
    Romania – Fembots forever! Wonder if the horses will appear on-stage?
    Armenia – yay
    Iceland – obviously the pity vote is larger than I anticipated.

    The ones who got through because they “sponsored” the contest and thus didn’t have to come up anything of worth (and they didn’t) were:

    France
    Germany
    UK
    Spain

    and the Klingon entry gets in because Russia won last year, or something.

    You see how much fun Eurovision is? The final is on Saturday night at 19:00 CET, which equates to 01:00 Sunday, Malaysian Standard. Damn, damn, and damn. I hope YouTube keeps a full repeat. Meanwhile, The Wast & Little Dinosaur are gearing up for a Eurovision Semi-Finals Party tonight, with the PC hooked up to the TV, much sushi and free-flowing Californian red wine. Join us?

    Just to recap, to join in all the capers, direct your browsers to Eurovision TV. And may the kitsch be with you!

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