It could be that I’m a pessimistic person by nature (a charge I don’t deny, btw), but this past weekend has been a classic exercise in proving the adage of a good deed never going unpunished, or its corollary, you always have to pay for your happiness.

What you may not know about me is that I’m a newly enthusiastic aquarist. From thinking that fishes were things that only looked good grilled on my plate, I’m now of the thought that the little critters have their own personalities that can really liven a corner of your home or office. As well as, ahem, looking good grilled on my plate. (I blame J for this change of heart. Just as it took him a little while to learn to eat fish that came with its head, tail and fins still attached, it took me a little longer to regard some fish — black ranchu, especially — as the aquatic equivalent of cuddly teddy bears.)

So, anyway, my new aquarium arrived on Friday evening, which meant the weekend was geared towards setting it up. It’s a 4-footer that looked quite manageable in the pet shop, but expanded to alarming proportions once it arrived at home (three weeks after I ordered it. It was an impatient wait for me). Now, with the exception of J helping me with placement, and some assistance with filling, he had absolutely nothing to do with the tank. Which made Fluffy’s (our 4yo Ragdoll) little liquid ‘present’ on our leather lounge suite early Sunday morning more than a little disconcerting. Fluffy has a perverse — some might say, unhealthy — fixation on J, who he regards as his sole possession. He is also a grumpy little …., prone to little episodes of pique when he thinks he’s being ignored. Considering J took a hands-off approach to my aquarium, appearing only when I needed some advice, Fluffy’s little tantrum was inexplicable. And then, we accidentally locked Squeak (our 3yo Maine Coon) in one of the bedrooms, and there were a couple of little ‘finds’ in the attached bathroom on Sunday morning too. So that was three clean-ups before we could enjoy our new aquarium.

Then, well, maybe I shouldn’t have done it. But J bought me a USB internal card reader some months ago and, while I was tidying up my office, it seemed to be an opportune time to install the card reader. Well, when I booted my machine, KMix told me that it couldn’t find my utterly wonderful, kick-ass Audigy card and attached pre-amp. Waaaaahhhhh! Shut down machine. Unplug mains. Open case. Check card. Looks okay. Plug in mains. Boot. Same problem. Sigh. Shutdown. Unplug card reader. Plug in mains. Boot. Same problem.

“Hey, J, could you use your magic fingers and jiggle things for me?”

Shutdown. Unplug mains. Jiggle, jiggle. Plug in mains. Boot. Audigy detected! But card reader still disconnected. With bated breath, shutdown. Unplug mains. Install card reader while not breathing and not thinking. Plug in mains. Boot. Success! Close case.

So, while I have a lovely new aquarium, the universe still demanded a sacrifice in the guise of misbehaving cats and a computer. Could have been worse.

In case anyone’s wondering, I moved my fish from an acidic environment (pH 6.4) to the new tank, which is completely pH neutral (7.0). I’m using Diana Walstad’s low-tech soil-based approach as a foundation and will report back on progress over the weeks and months to follow. Fish inventory as follows:

7 x Albino Corydoras
2 x Golden algae-eaters
5 x male Honey Gouramis (one of the most beautiful gourami I’ve had. Colour is deep reddish honey and saturated, so I know they’re happy; thoroughly recommended)
1 x Black Ghost knifefish (named “Patch”)

Plant species are confined to Cabomba and Hygrophila spp with a couple of Java ferns, because that’s all I’ve been able to find. I can only dream of Vallisneria, *wort or Sagittaria spp. Where’s Singapore moss when you need it? Suppose I’ll have to keep looking.

Total volume of tank approx. 370 litres. Water still a little hazy but the fish are doing just fine. No stress signs detected at all and appetites are very healthy.