“You throw like a girl!”

A couple of weekends ago, a friend from school was dropped off by his parents to spend some time visiting with The Wast. Let’s call the friend Jerry. Jerry is a nice boy, the second in a family of three children (two boys, one girl). His parents are well-to-do professionals, from what I gather. In other words, his parents should know better.

The school our kids attend is a private one, mostly because all the lessons (except for Malay) are in English. As much as we wanted to, putting our kids into one of the state schools, where the language of instruction is Malay, would have been a disaster. As a result, the school caters for professionals, for the richer parents; that is, for those who see a future for their children outside Malaysia and are prepared to pay for it. In other words, the school should know better.

A day after Jerry’s visit, The Wast mentioned at the dinner table that, “Jerry says that girls can’t fight.”

“Pardon?” I blinked.

The Wast grinned. “Yeah, he says that girls are useless at boxing and fighting and that kind of stuff.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Little Dinosaur, who’s built like a brick outhouse, declared. “What about Hit-Girl(*)? And look at mama.”

“That’s right,” I said. “Look at me. Do you think I can’t fight?”

“No. But that’s just what they say at school.”

“And what do you tell them?”

“I tell them that my mother taught martial arts, but they don’t believe me.”

A couple of days later, The Wast shared what he learnt in Moral Education.

“Boys should be well-groomed and have short hair,” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Why what?”

“Why should you have short hair? Does having long hair mean you somehow lose your testicles?”

“No.” (With a giggle.)

“Does having long hair mean you lose all your intelligence?”

“No.”

“Does having long hair mean you don’t know how to speak or interact with people?”

“No.”

“Does having long hair interfere with your homework?”

“No.”

“So why is it bad having long hair?”

“Besides the fact you’ll faint from heat exhaustion in this climate,” J added, ever the voice of reason.

The Wast thought about it. “I don’t know.”

“Exactly.”

What I like about having my children educated in south-east Asia is the emphasis on foundations in language and maths, the discipline (except the corporal punishment bits) and the rigour. What I thoroughly dislike about having my children educated in south-east Asia is the utter narrow-mindedness masquerading as high principle. Mind you, I still prefer Asia to, say, Australia. At least here, I can help counter the unthinking idiocy with some well-chosen pieces of logic and history. In Australia, how do I console a daughter who’s been called a black monkey bitch and told to go back to the trees where she belongs?

Still, you’d think there has to be some middle ground. Some damned tolerance. The school principal came out with a doozie recently, saying that boys shouldn’t do ballet because, if they do, they’ll turn into homosexuals. Oh good grief. The amount of ignorance flying around is astounding. And the belief in witchcraft here is still strong (one example is the “black magic” that Indonesians seem to have some fast-track channel into, that will deflect bullets and knife blows from their bare bodies. Say it with me this time … oh good grief.)

All I can do is help the kids focus on the academic fundamentals and, through wider education, show — as well as tell — them that women are the equal to men. That gays and lesbians have just as much right to civil liberties as anyone else (which is a problem in itself in a country where you have equal and more equal citizens, if you get my drift), that cross-dressers aren’t automatically gay, that ascribing to witchcraft doesn’t make you impervious to injury or a slam-dunk to win the lottery, that being envious of a family doesn’t mean their newborn baby will be “cursed” thus causing mental illness … the list goes on and on. And, as I think I may have mentioned in a previous post, these sorts of inane beliefs are not the purview of the uneducated. They come from the mouths of doctors, teachers, IT professionals and accountants. In fact, I’ve found it easier to talk around someone who’s only had primary school education compared to a University graduate. It’s an interesting insight into the impermeability of mindsets.

I’ll come back to gender equity again, in another post. In the meantime, I’m putting my old trophies and medals out on display, just in case someone asks ….

(*) You can see who’s already excited about the upcoming release of Kick-Ass the Movie, can’t you? Damn you, SF Signal! Damn you and your embedded trailers!