It’s been a flurry of visits to the vet recently so I’ve had a chance to sit back and observe how pet owners behave towards their animals. Now remember that the very fact that a human is at the vet’s with her animal means that that human is more animal-aware than the average Asian. You’d think that’s a good thing…until you actually start watching.

First off are the owners who bring their dogs in without a leash or collar. Oh no, getting into arguments in the waiting room with another dog, risking the anxious animal running off, securing them so they don’t disturb the other pet owners …. none of this is their problem. It’s up to everybody else to break up the fight, catch the dog or move to another seat, where you could be out of luck if the waiting room’s full. The owner will just sit there and watch you, or call someone on the phone and chat while all this is going on. It’s the servants who show the most care, probably because they’re afraid they’ll get beaten to within an inch of their lives if anything happens to the Shih Tzu while on its annual vaccination visit.

Then there are the owners who behave inappropriately. A small toy poodle is in the waiting room. A German Shepherd comes in, pulling his owner behind him. The poodle is obviously dismayed and starts yelping. What’s the proper reaction? (Of course the poodle isn’t on a leash, take that as a given.) Yes, of course. Hit the poodle. Did you guess that one right? I’ve seen it done with such smoothness, it’s almost art. One fluid move, reaching down to slip off a shoe and then whacking the anxious dog across the nose with it. The last time I saw such grace was watching some old man fiddle with his katana.

What about the breeders who come in with their puppies for vaccinations? Oh I saw a beauty last week. A wiry Chinese man came in with a dirty, torn plastic laundry hamper, the top secured by a large piece of cardboard and two bungee cords. At first, I thought that he’d found an animal on the road and this was the only container he had spare. Oh, how naive am I??? This man was a breeder, bringing in two Staffordshire pups for their shots. Each animal has to be weighed upon check-in, and this man delved down and brought up a puppy the way you’d bring a crab-pot out of the water. One hand in to grab the scruff of the neck and pull up. No holding of the puppy’s rump. Oh no, that’s for wimps! Just dig out the puppy and dump it on the scale. Get the weight and dump the puppy back into the basket again. Doesn’t matter if it hits the side. Doesn’t matter if it catches a hind leg as it goes in and yelps. Just flick that offending limb out of the way and get the other puppy. This man’s obviously important and has better things to do than actually — ha! ha! — coddle an animal. After all, aren’t they costing him money?

While on a walk around a very established and salubrious suburb of JB a couple of days later (very little litter on the side of the road), I chanced across several houses with guard dogs. That’s the security deterrent of choice around here. Do you know how hot it gets in Johor? On an average day it’s 33 degrees Celsius (90+ Fahrenheit) and eighty percent humidity. If you have a dog you want to guard your house, let’s say a full-sized poodle, where would you put it? That’s right. You’d stick it on a short metal chain outside your house in full sunlight with only a square of concrete to rest on. Sitting right next to the road all day is exactly how you’d treat a shaggy-coated, highly intelligent, prone to neurosis, animal. What does such a beast need quality of life? Isn’t it enough they have their lives?

Malays are thinking they’re getting off scot-free because they don’t have anything to do with dogs. I’ll deal with them next time.