There’s a lot of history that doesn’t get told. In my part of the world, it’s a given. We’re all brown or yellow people here so who cares, right? But it’s also blackly funny whenever it happens to white folk too.

Take the largest medieval battle in history. But first, some reminders:

• The Battle of Hastings took place on 14 October 1066 and involved a total of around 14,000 to 18,000 soldiers.
• The defeat of the Spanish Armada by weather in August 1588 involved a total of 32,000 soldiers.
• The Siege of Jerusalem in 1099 involved about 27,000.

Stalwart reader, there is a medieval battle that knocks all of these into a cocked hat but you never hear about it because … well, let’s describe it first.

• It was fought on 15 July 1410.
• The entire population of Europe at that time was probably in the range of one million people. We can rant and rave and carry on about how accurate this figure is, but I don’t think I’m off by much, having read several papers on medieval demographics and noting the particular virulence of illness and devastation that swept across Europe at that time.
• The population of soldiers involved in This Particular Battle was not a piddly 8,000 or even (ho hum) 20,000. This Particular Battle involved 60,000 soldiers.

I am, of course, talking about Grunwald.

The reason you haven’t heard about this battle may be as simple as saying that Grunwald was where the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth went up against the Crusaders (the Teutonic Knights in this case) and, as in all things right and proper, thrashed them.

Lest we think that the greedy Crusaders were only around to plunder the Middle East (sound familiar?), forcing the Muslims into a counter-attack that would, in the end, destroy the precious flower of their own far advanced civilisation in a pyrrhic victory, the time of the Crusades was also used to forcibly convert those deemed to be “pagan” still swanning around in Europe as well.

This campaign of forcible conversion (as an excuse to grab as many foreign riches as possible, natch!) is what the Crusaders were trying to do when they went up against the Poles and Lithuanians at Grunwald and this is where one of the best heavy cavalry in Europe (at that time) got decisively creamed.

This is not to say that the Poles were fast friends with the Muslims. There are records of battles between the Poles and Turks as well and, if you watch Polish historical dramas, you’ll notice that the Poles adopted some items of dress and weaponry from their Ottoman enemies. The most famous clash between the parties was probably during the Siege of Vienna (1683) where the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth and its allies (totalling over 84,000 soldiers) went up against the 150,000-strong Ottoman Empire. The Poles were triumphant. They broke the two-month old siege of the city and it marked the end of Ottoman attempts to dominate Europe, although it then left the way clear for the Hapsburgs. Oops.

Anyway, the reason I mention all this is that last week was the 600th anniversary of Grunwald and there was a giant recreation (there’s a recreation every year but this being the six HUNDREDTH anniversary and all, the event was extra-special) and all sorts of fun. Here’s a teaser (let’s see if I can embed videos):

Am I biased? Of course! I married a Pole and I love the ferocity, passion and, yes, sometimes even the bull-headed honour of the Polish people. It also helps that I think Polish men are very cute.

Anyway, the takeaway point from this post is: Grunwald. One of the biggest battles in European medieval history. Now you know about it.

Site for the 600th anniversary of the battle of Grunwald
Video montage: stills from battle paintings with this year’s reconstruction (in, er, heavy metal hymnal)
Video: a bit from last year’s efforts

* Actually, if you want to see just how messy, chaotic and ultimately pointless all wars are, go through a few of the videos. I think that the only people who believe war is glorious are those who’ve never had to fight for anything.

UPDATE: If the topic interests you beyond the video, the State University of New York has a great essay on the most famous painting of the battle. While Matejko’s painting shows what people did before television (i.e. paint shatteringly intricate scenes), my heart is with the simplicity of Wyspianski’s interpretation. I’m looking for a poster of Wyspianski’s version now. And J tells me that the “heavy metal hymnal” I mentioned earlier could be even more heavy metal. I told him I was expecting the word “Kahless” to be sung somewhere during the video, as I’m convinced the Poles are part-Klingon.