Hmmmm, it appears that “the look” for heroes in movies has changed. From the square-jawed, alpha type, we now seem to be moving to an age of droopy, long-faced emo-men. See if you agree. Here’s Adrien Brody from the latest Predator movie:
Shia LaBeouf in…oh god, every damn thing:
We watched German-language The Charlemagne Code last week. The hero, Eik Meiers, is played by Benjamin Sadler:
I think I’m onto something here. Anyway, this is a bit of a distraction because I’m currently writing a review about The Charlemagne Code. It’ll probably be ready on Monday, but in the meantime, how do feel about long-faced heroes? I could take ‘em or leave ‘em, frankly. I prefer my men smart, stocky and bald. What about you?
Talk about minimalist, right? Actually, I like minimalism; it’s just that I can’t seem to stop myself from tinkering. Aaargghhh. Anyway, this is what my blog looks like now. J tells me this is an excellent opportunity to put more goddamn pictures in! Maybe he’s right.
But, if he is, then I have to dash. A certain digital camera battery recharger has gone walkabout and I now have to find it. What do you think of the new look, oh stalwart reader?
Yes, I know it’s a bit sudden but, as they say, my get-up-and-go just got up and left. I have some serious editing work to get through this month and I would rather not post at all than do it sporadically. I’ll be back later in the month. Maybe.
So, stalwart reader, you know by now that we have a new member of the family. Cookie. And you’ve probably gathered that the resident cats, Fluff and Squeak, are none too happy with this state of affairs.
While Squeak is content to merely voice his disapproval, shifty grumpy Fluff is much more nefarious. Quite simply, he figured out who was actually responsible for the introduction of the interloper and promptly relieved himself (Numbers One and Two) on my new fabric beanbag. Then, just to be sure I got the message, he did it again on my black suede handbag.
While the handbag could be rescued (it was a lot drier, and I’ll just leave that up to your imagination, if you don’t mind), the beanbag — a more thorough assault — could not.
My problem? Emptying the beanbag of all beans and junking it. But where to put the beans?
Actually, I think I’ll leave it at that. What to do with the beans? I’ll tell you on Monday what I did with them but, in the meantime, if you can think of anything, put it in a comment. And have a good weekend.
There’s a lot of history that doesn’t get told. In my part of the world, it’s a given. We’re all brown or yellow people here so who cares, right? But it’s also blackly funny whenever it happens to white folk too.
Take the largest medieval battle in history. But first, some reminders:
The Battle of Hastings took place on 14 October 1066 and involved a total of around 14,000 to 18,000 soldiers.
The defeat of the Spanish Armada by weather in August 1588 involved a total of 32,000 soldiers.
The Siege of Jerusalem in 1099 involved about 27,000.
Stalwart reader, there is a medieval battle that knocks all of these into a cocked hat but you never hear about it because … well, let’s describe it first.
It was fought on 15 July 1410.
The entire population of Europe at that time was probably in the range of one million people. We can rant and rave and carry on about how accurate this figure is, but I don’t think I’m off by much, having read several papers on medieval demographics and noting the particular virulence of illness and devastation that swept across Europe at that time.
The population of soldiers involved in This Particular Battle was not a piddly 8,000 or even (ho hum) 20,000. This Particular Battle involved 60,000 soldiers.
I am, of course, talking about Grunwald.
The reason you haven’t heard about this battle may be as simple as saying that Grunwald was where the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth went up against the Crusaders (the Teutonic Knights in this case) and, as in all things right and proper, thrashed them.
Lest we think that the greedy Crusaders were only around to plunder the Middle East (sound familiar?), forcing the Muslims into a counter-attack that would, in the end, destroy the precious flower of their own far advanced civilisation in a pyrrhic victory, the time of the Crusades was also used to forcibly convert those deemed to be “pagan” still swanning around in Europe as well.
This campaign of forcible conversion (as an excuse to grab as many foreign riches as possible, natch!) is what the Crusaders were trying to do when they went up against the Poles and Lithuanians at Grunwald and this is where one of the best heavy cavalry in Europe (at that time) got decisively creamed.
This is not to say that the Poles were fast friends with the Muslims. There are records of battles between the Poles and Turks as well and, if you watch Polish historical dramas, you’ll notice that the Poles adopted some items of dress and weaponry from their Ottoman enemies. The most famous clash between the parties was probably during the Siege of Vienna (1683) where the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth and its allies (totalling over 84,000 soldiers) went up against the 150,000-strong Ottoman Empire. The Poles were triumphant. They broke the two-month old siege of the city and it marked the end of Ottoman attempts to dominate Europe, although it then left the way clear for the Hapsburgs. Oops.
Anyway, the reason I mention all this is that last week was the 600th anniversary of Grunwald and there was a giant recreation (there’s a recreation every year but this being the six HUNDREDTH anniversary and all, the event was extra-special) and all sorts of fun. Here’s a teaser (let’s see if I can embed videos):
Am I biased? Of course! I married a Pole and I love the ferocity, passion and, yes, sometimes even the bull-headed honour of the Polish people. It also helps that I think Polish men are very cute.
Anyway, the takeaway point from this post is: Grunwald. One of the biggest battles in European medieval history. Now you know about it.
* Actually, if you want to see just how messy, chaotic and ultimately pointless all wars are, go through a few of the videos. I think that the only people who believe war is glorious are those who’ve never had to fight for anything.
UPDATE: If the topic interests you beyond the video, the State University of New York has a great essay on the most famous painting of the battle. While Matejko’s painting shows what people did before television (i.e. paint shatteringly intricate scenes), my heart is with the simplicity of Wyspianski’s interpretation. I’m looking for a poster of Wyspianski’s version now. And J tells me that the “heavy metal hymnal” I mentioned earlier could be even more heavy metal. I told him I was expecting the word “Kahless” to be sung somewhere during the video, as I’m convinced the Poles are part-Klingon.
My friend Lisabet Sarai just did me the dubious honour of conferring the “Versatile Blogger” award to me. I guess what that means is that I’ll rant and rave about anything! I’m supposed to pass this along to fifteen other bloggers (fifteen??!! Yikes!). That ain’t gonna happen. Tell you seven things about myself that you didn’t know. Hmmm, not sure about that one either. And drop by my victims’ blogs to let them know they’ve been awarded. Okay, that I’m cool with.
Okay, so things you didn’t know.
1. With the exception of the four-legged members of the family, each of us (J, The Wast, Little Dinosaur and myself) has been born on a different continent.
2. J and I chose our wedding date specifically because it was United Nations Day, and we thought that that concept of universality encapsulated what our life together would be like. (From time to time, it’s also resembled a Security Council veto and a couple of resolutions of impending war, but you got to take the good with the bad, know what I mean?)
3. Because there was so much going on, in my late twenties and early thirties, I used to go one night a week without sleep.
4. I hate reality TV shows.
5. I’ve won trophies and medals for martial arts in every tournament I ever entered.
6. I used to play piano and flute.
7. I have a little fig bonsai I’m training in my office. (Sit, Ficus! Good girl!)
Next week, I have a week-long series on pets and how they’re treated in Malaysia, so if you want to see me at my opinionated worst, be sure you tune in. In the meantime, thanks Lisabet (dryly) and have a good weekend everyone.
Um, I missed blogging on Friday, didn’t I? To be honest, I’m surprised I only missed one day this month. My excuse is, I thought it was Thursday.
Anyway, on Saturday, we got a new addition to the family, so I suppose I’ve got to change all my Bio details. Yep, we got another brand-new miniature bull terrier. She’s a black brindle and her name is Cookie. But, just to remind you what our original bully looks like, here’s Sausage purloining the chair I sat on for J to take my author photo:
Isn’t she adorable? Cookie? Er, not so much. Cookie is the splicing together of a head of a whippet with the body of a bull terrier. She reminds me of the Mondoshawan aliens from the movie, The Fifth Element. Voici:
You hear about how bull terriers are fierce and vicious? Well any visitor to the house is more likely to meet the fate of being licked to death at this rate. Last night, Cookie fell asleep on J’s chest while we were watching “Rear Window“, part of a 3-for-SG$10 DVD deal J picked up in Singers last week. It was rather adorable. (Cookie falling asleep, not the video deal. That was attractive rather than adorable.)
We feed our pets raw food and the first thing I noticed upon feeding Cookie is that she didn’t know how to grab food with her teeth. She tried to lick all the food into her mouth first. By the next day, she’d got the hang of it and was munching on chicken gizzards with the rest of them. J has also noticed that she doesn’t know what to do with even a rawhide bone. It’s not that she’s that young. She’s five months old. No matter, we’ll get her acting like a real dog soon. Oh, you want to see a picture. How’s this:
The cats have gone on strike and refused to eat since we’ve introduced Cookie to the household. A typical attitude is that shown by Squeak:
It’s been a while since I last blogged about our mini bull terrier, Sausage. Because Maria is such a sucker for dogs, she’s been bugging me to take pictures!, take pictures!, so here I am.
Sausage is now 11 months old and is about as big as I think she’s going to get. She may add another kilo or so of weight to the 10.2kg she already sports, but I think we’ve got what was advertised … a pocket-sized bull terrier.
Just because she’s small, though, doesn’t mean she lacks any of that bull terrier stubbornness, er, spirit. Here she is in her favourite room of the house, the wet kitchen, where she attempts to cajole snacks out of anybody who makes the mistake of opening the fridge door:
And, just to show you that she really is a mini, here she is with Squeak, our adorable Maine Coon boy. Squeak tips the scales at a little over 9kg:
Just like the cats, Sausage also likes to keep comfortable. Whether it’s in the coffee lounge (don’t you love that sideways look?):
or the library:
I’m not sure how to remove the flash without making her look like she has abyssal pits for eyes, so I’m just leaving that photo as is.
Recently she, in her usual zeal, decided to go haring around the front yard and ended up ripping up the front pad under her right paw on some concrete. We took her to the vets, where she would’ve snapped everybody’s hands off if she wasn’t already wearing a muzzle and I wasn’t restraining her. I told the vet staff that she’s an absolute darling at home but am not sure if they believed me! You believe me, don’t you? The kids now call her Sausage With a Skip. Or Skipping Sausage.
The upshot of a damaged paw is that she’s now quickly learnt a new trick using it. Yep, cute begging!
It’s pathetic really.
But that’s not the end of the post. My good friend Maria is doing an incredibly generous thing. From now till the 8 June, she’s holding a competition. The prize is a copy of my upcoming book, IN ENEMY HANDS. All you have to do is:
1. Email Maria (at ‘mariazannini AT gmail DOT com’)
2. Put “What’s My Name” on the subject line
3. Tell her what my dog’s name is
This is a more-than-generous addition to my own competition to give away 2 full promo kits at this blog. Thanks M! Gotta love friends like that!
It’s a pub hol in Singapore and Malaysia today (as well as a few other countries in the region, I suspect). The good news is that it’s a pub hol for J and I. The bad news is that it’s a pub hol for the kids as well. So no sneaking off for a private, indulgent brunch. Rats!
Vesak Day celebrates the birth, enlightenment and death of the Buddha, presumably in that order. He must have been one exceptionally efficient dude is all I can say. Even Jesus Christ couldn’t manage to fit everything on the one day. Except, like Christ, Buddha’s day skips around all over the place, depending on the phase of the moon. And they say women are indecisive!
In any case, I’ll take whatever holiday I can get, which means we’re actually Not Here while you’re reading this. I don’t know where we’ll be, but not chained to a PC, that’s for sure!
Before I go, however, I’d like to say that The Romance Studio will be giving away a digital copy of Guarding His Body on Friday, 28 May during its Book-A-Day Giveaway. Wow! A Pirate’s Passion, then Cougars & Cubs (which has received two great reviews so far), now Guarding His Body and let’s not forget two copies of In Enemy Hands at the end of June. I think I would have given away more books in May/June than in the previous three years combined. Make sure you don’t miss out.
Have a good weekend and I’ll catch you all on Monday and, don’t forget, I’m at Ann Wilkes’ blog today (US time), talking about romance in science-fiction.
POSTSCRIPT: In Enemy Hands is available for adding to your wishlist at Amazon although you should know I get a better royalty if you buy direct from Carina Press. (No, the commercial part of their site isn’t up yet; I’ll let you know when/if it is.) However, if you’re an Amazon die-hard, then you can go there and I promise not to sic Sausage on you! Interestingly, I can’t buy my own book from Amazon because I’m not in the USA apparently. Hmmmm. This one will require more digging, methinks.
Man, I’m pooped and I haven’t even begun my promo push yet! Monday already and I really don’t know what to write.
J and I were discussing the sophistication of voters this morning and how a complete reluctance to even talk about politics leads, in my mind, to a lazy and uninvolved populace. I wanted to expound on this in a post, but it’s way too big for just one and I don’t have time for the moment.
I read in the papers that the Malaysian ringgit has appreciated and will continue to appreciate across major currencies. What does this mean for Singapore, besides the fact that the hordes to come over and buy up everything in the local supermarkets will find their Singbucks don’t go as far as they used to?
Malaysia is also in the top ten of competitive countries (list of 58, from memory). Switzerland put the list together and — oh surprise! — Switzerland is also in the top ten. Well, I suppose when you define the entire game, you’re entitled to include yourself in the winner’s circle, right?
There is talk that the subsidies on oil, sugar, flour and petrol in the country Must Go! Prime Minister Najib has a fine balancing act to contemplate. If the government phases out subsidies (and I can only see unsubsidised sugar in this diabetes-rich country as A Good Thing), a lot of people are going to be pretty upset. The only way he can make this work is to somehow encourage higher wages to offset the subsidy cuts or risk a semi-skilled drain to Singapore. The raw argument goes: why earn RM1,500/month in Malaysia when you can earn SG2,000/month in Singapore? (SG1.00 = RM2.30) Well, for one reason, RM1,500 buys you a helluva lot more in Malaysia than SG2,000 buys you in Singers. The smart ones will live in Johor and commute to Singapore and join 65,000+ other people doing the same thing. But what does this mean for Malaysia?
And, in writing, well I’m working on a new novel, so it’s just slog slog slog at the moment and — eek! — June next week. Back to my writing machine. See you Wednesday.
My friend 
